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Forum Home / General Discussion / People's Questions When Calling "The Butterball Hotline" About Their Turkey
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Bureau Snippet Zoner Registered: 6 Sep 08 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
"The Butterball Turkey Hotline:
"Guess what I'm buttering right now?" "This thing is on fire! What do I...never mind, the fire truck is here." "I've look EVERYWHERE and there's no ball of butter in this ******* turkey!" |
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| Sometimes the light's all shinin' on me; Other times I can barely see. Lately it occurs to me, What a long, strange trip it's been. | |||
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Lady Godiva Banned Location: Canada and The Spoof Registered: 22 Feb 10 Forum Profile |
Hi, I've got my hand stuck up the frozen turkey. How long until it thaws?
LG |
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Morse -- --- .-. ... . Location: South Carolina, usa Registered: 20 Jul 08 Forum Profile |
It won't fit in the Toaster Oven...what do I do now?
What's that paper bag filled with guts that just burned up inside the bird ? When I saw it lying on the counter with it's legs trussed up I couldn't help myself...should I have used a condom? I paid for the whole bird, where are the feathers and the rest of it? I tried to serve it, but the damn thing was frozen stiff...what a rip off, eh? What gives? I think it wound up in the wrong processing plant, mine tasted like salami, baloney & capicola! |
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| Whether you're rich or you're poor, it always pays to have money! | |||
Ellis Ian Fields Writer Location: Dunno - it's so very dark Registered: 9 Dec 09 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
Love that episode in the West Wing when Bartlet says "There should be a phone line where people can call with questions" and Charlie tells him there is one already, the Butterball Hotline...
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| No-one speaks English and everything's broken. | |||
Lynton Writer Location: Paris Registered: 14 Oct 09 Forum Profile |
Hey does this thing not have any balls?
I think mine's got Jane Fonda's neck but at least it's got oprahs ass |
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Lady Godiva Banned Location: Canada and The Spoof Registered: 22 Feb 10 Forum Profile |
"Hi, I'm suing you for false advertising. I used my Butterball for bowling last night and it kept going in the gutter. It ISN'T ROUND ."
"You should add to the Cooking Instruction REMOVE OUTER PLASTIC BEFORE INSERTING INTO OVEN. "Hi, was it one of your turkeys Mr. Bean used in his t.v. show and movie?" LG |
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Bureau Snippet Zoner Registered: 6 Sep 08 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
"Tell me how to butter my turkey but tell me reallllll slowwwwww!" "Take your burnt black butterball and STUFF IT!!" "Should I have thawed it completely before I made a sandwich? I don't feel so good. Bllleeeettthhhhh!!!" |
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| Sometimes the light's all shinin' on me; Other times I can barely see. Lately it occurs to me, What a long, strange trip it's been. | |||
Philbert of Macadamia Historical nutcase Location: Pizmo Beach, Pennsyltucky Registered: 20 May 08 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
How do I tell if the turkey is a tom or a hen, as we don't indulge in same sex eating?
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| There is intelligent life in outer space! Then why do the UFO's not land on the Earth? As I said, there is intelligent life in outer space! | |||
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Morse -- --- .-. ... . Location: South Carolina, usa Registered: 20 Jul 08 Forum Profile |
...check for stubble under their wings.... |
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| Whether you're rich or you're poor, it always pays to have money! | |||
Abel Rodriguez Ready and Abel Location: USA Registered: 7 Jul 04 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
The Butterball Turkey Hotline:
"Hello, Butterball Turkey Hotline. I caught Grandpa Peckerwood, who turned 101 on Wednesday a week ago 'patting down' our Butterball Turkey. Now I don't wanna upset the family members but I need to return the sucker. And don't give me no shit about how cooking it will kill all of the friggin germs, cause we ain't effen going there ya hear?" |
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