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Bureau
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Bureau

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Posted: 18 Dec 10 02:54
Comments Overheard at TheSpoof Holiday Party:

"Nice outfit, Lady G."

"Skoob doesn't have a thing under that coat...let me rephrase that..."

"Are you Queen Mudder?"
"No, I'm Mark Lowton. Crawl over there & drink some coffee."

Sometimes the light's all shinin' on me;
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me, What a long, strange trip it's been.
Skoob1999
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Skoob1999

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Posted: 18 Dec 10 04:40
If that's really QM - how come she ain't wearing a tiara?

How come CJ's such a lovely guy in real life?

Jesus! Abel Rodriguez can sing!

Who's that bloke sitting at table 5?

God! Monkey Woods really is a monkey!

That Bureau seems like a nice guy - but he talks in snippets.

I like Lynton - he keeps a protective eye on everybody. Most of the time.

Does that Lady G ever stop talking?

birbee looks interesting, but you can't talk to him because he never stops texting.

That's masterchev? How old is he? Twelve?

How come Charpa's brain doesn't fire laser beams like her avatar?

So that's John Peurach - what's he smokin'?

Ain't it touching how SFO and his stepdad really get along well together...

That's not a zombie - it's Nick Hobbs...

Weird how somebody called Sidney Bollocks doesn't talk bollocks.

How come JaggedOne ain't wearing a number seven United shirt?

Why is everyone dressed up like a pirate?

That's Skoob? He's even shorter than I imagined...

Keep it down...Mark's watching.

Regards

Skoob.

Apologies to those I missed, but it's late here and the bar's running dry.

RIP
Charpa93
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Charpa93

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Posted: 18 Dec 10 04:44 - Edited By: Charpa93, 18 Dec 10 04:45
Shame Frankie the J couldn't be with us this year. Let's all raise a toast to the tough old bird...err Rooster.

Charpa93
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Posted: 18 Dec 10 04:48
Is the Colonel wearing anything under that kilt?

Skoob1999
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Skoob1999

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Posted: 18 Dec 10 05:30
I missed Frankie out of that list deliberately.

He gets a mention all to himself.

As soon as I work it out

Regards

Skoob.

RIP
Skoob1999
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Skoob1999

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Posted: 18 Dec 10 06:05
You see that guy there? The big guy? That's Frankie the J. Mad as a fucking hatter he is. That guy's been through shit most of us couldn't even imagine. Don't ever badmouth him. If you're brave enough to do that, you'll have the entire Spoof nation rip your fucking throat out. That guy is a legend. Wish I had half his courage.

RIP
John Peurach
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John Peurach

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Posted: 18 Dec 10 06:21 - Edited By: John Peurach, 18 Dec 10 06:56
"Call me crazy, but I just figured Colonel Juan would be something of a better dancer."

"Maybe that's because he's letting Skoob lead this time - but not in the way you think."

**********

"Oh my God, don't tell me that's Miley Cyrus with Abel!"

"Don't worry I won't, since that's Gail Farrelly with anthonyrosania. If you want Abel I think I saw him in the kitchen arm wrestling P.M. to see who's gonna make another beer run with Catherine the Average, who's anything but, believe you me. I mean, who shows up to one of these things looking like Shirley Manson, for some reason channeling Poly Styrene. And yes, that was a falcon on her forearm."

**********

"Hey, Victor, whaddya hear, whaddya say?"

"I'm thinking."

**********

"Attention everybody, it's time for queen mudder to mix up another batch of martinis without using her hands again!"

***********

"So, Mr. Monkey Woods, what do you think of this whole WikiLeaks mess?"

"Now that's what I call a big Nae mair crap!"

"You don't say?"

"I do say. Since, well, I always had him pegged as being more of a little squirt from, well, who knows where the hell?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Him, that tall drink of distilled, my heart, mountain spring water over there with the Helen Shapiro haircut"

"Oh, him. For some reason I thought that he was the guy that came in with shea lo and then took off because Erskin made that crack about the hump on his back."

"That's no hump, that's Nick Hobbs still playing hide and seek with Matthatt and Spicewood. Hey, where you going?"

"I'm not sure, that sushi that Ellis Ian Fields brought is suddenly starting to back up on me."

*************

"Wow, who knew that Morse and Lady Godiva would hit it off so well?"

"Yeah, they're a regular Donny and Marie aren't they?"

"I'll say, to the manor born, and then some, right down to the saddle shoes and matching lower back tattoos of Marc Bolan."

"You sure that's who that was?"

"What, you saw something I didn't?"

"I'm not sure. All I know is that up close, what they were both sporting looked more like Feargal Sharkey of The Undertones. Or, maybe cause the track lighting in here really sucks, perhaps a little too much like Bobby Sands, on or around Day 36."

**************

Bureau, Bureau....what the hell, I didn't recognize you at first. In fact, to tell you the God's honest, I figured you were just another guy lying there in the middle if the dining room table, hoping to maybe sleep off what you could before officially calling it another almost night, before you know, you head back to the office to help Mark sort out Sidney's end of the week totals and more or less scientific-like tabulations.

*************

Charpa?? I think she just took a leap out that window there cause it apparently took that Peurach mofo like an hour and half to just tell her that no, he didn't want another drink, but did once, unfortunately, get stuck in an elevator with Frank Sinatra, Jr., Sarah Miles and Charles Nelson Reilly, was apparently abandoned at the age of 6 by his step parents at a truck stop somewhere along the New Jersey Turnpike, and, if at all possible would someday like to direct something/anything with Liza Minnelli, Mario Cantone and Seymour Cassel in it. Or, if any of those folks are unavailable, then maybe Karen Black, Lewis Black, and Bruce Dern penciled in as possible replacements. Although, due to the fact that he seemed to insist on speaking like either Malcolm McDowell in "A Clockwork Orange" or Clive James after one too many high balls, the overall gist of his ramble-on-a-thon was a little difficult to follow. Especially with Buck E Filbert nearby making so much noise chopping down what he could of Kid Icarus' wooden leg."

***************

At one time we were all old enough to know, yet still young enough not to know any better. Thank God (or, whoever is screening his/her calls these days) some of us can somehow pretend that to be, more or less, still the case.
John Peurach
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John Peurach

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Posted: 18 Dec 10 08:50 - Edited By: John Peurach, 18 Dec 10 08:51
Attn Skoob:

Here it is a couple of hours after I first read your overheard at the Spoof holiday party rundown (in fact it's tomorrow already), yet meanwhile, I'm still laughing out loud about masterchev being twelve, and the fact that everyone came dressed up like a pirate.

In other words, happy days are indeed here again, especially when you's in da house.

In still other words, good luck to ya wherever you's is, and thanks for letting me tag along.

j/p.

At one time we were all old enough to know, yet still young enough not to know any better. Thank God (or, whoever is screening his/her calls these days) some of us can somehow pretend that to be, more or less, still the case.
Morse
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Morse

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Posted: 18 Dec 10 11:00


Hey guys, what do you think of the skiff Wortham turned into the salad bar?

Geez...who's picking the waitstaff around here...the last one was wearing a skirt so short I could see my future...

We better talk to the new bartender...my last Tom Collins had more fruit in it than San Francisco...

Who the hell are those kids in the corner eatin' nuttin but serial?

Better talk to those blokes from the Colonies...one of them just tried to
touch THE QUEEN!

Is there a translator in the house....there's a bloke at the bar from Yorkshire
trying to order a Waldorf Salad....I think......

Why are those people from the IOW outside picketing the place?

Give Victor that Erasure Slate so he can write a few words...

Tell that guy we just ran out of coconut milk....and to stop pickin' at his arse!

...yeah, yer right, ReTread looks pretty hot as a Cross Dresser...hemlines a bit long though...and the engineer boots don't really work with the neck line...

Will someone put some more cheese down in the kitchen so we can get these
mice off the dance floor......?

Sad innit...the only guy in the room who never made FW...but then he never wrote nothing neither.......

Anybody seen me mudder?

I dunno...Last I seen him he was off to see the hatcheck girl ...and that was two hours ago....must have been checkin' more than his hat......

Will someone tell that nude woman she has to leave her pony outside, I don't care if it's snowing or not.....

Seeing Eye dog my arse....if it can see, why does it have it's nose up my
fanny........?

No Sir, I'm sorry...you can't bring your cat in here...that sign regarding Hot
Pussy getting in free doesn't apply in your case.....

I know Fergus is here somewhere...there's enough Foooking sawdust on the floor to fill a horse stall....this is just a bit too much atmosphere....

More as We Hear it



Whether you're rich or you're poor, it always pays to have money!
Bureau
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Bureau

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Posted: 18 Dec 10 13:11


I think I need some coffee but I could have sworn there was a big dancing condom going from room to room.

Maybe the place is haunted.

Sometimes the light's all shinin' on me;
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me, What a long, strange trip it's been.
Lady Godiva
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Posted: 18 Dec 10 13:27 - Edited By: Lady Godiva, 18 Dec 10 13:28
'That person pretending to be John P. is an imposter. I know, because I just understood what he said'


'Is Mister Meaner here? If so, make sure he and Lady G. don't meet. She'll have his guts for garters.'

'Lynton's balls have turned to stones...poor fella'.

'I'm glad Mark erased that stoopid mustache. He looks almost human now'.

'Did you just hear what birbee said? It sounded like ************ M20H 3, MACH10, N0z, 5%2s4."

'Life's just not fair! Lady G. looks NOTHING like her profile picture. I wouldn't have recognized her if she hadn't been wearing a name tag. Sheesh....they let any bugger write for the Spoof these days. I'm gonna complain to Mark. Everyone should put their real picture up like Shea lo and - who's that fella who had a screaming face photo then just changed it last week?'

Charpa93
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Posted: 18 Dec 10 13:30

Quote: John Peurach

"Call me crazy, but I just figured Colonel Juan would be something of a better dancer."

"Maybe that's because he's letting Skoob lead this time - but not in the way you think."

**********

"Oh my God, don't tell me that's Miley Cyrus with Abel!"

"Don't worry I won't, since that's Gail Farrelly with anthonyrosania. If you want Abel I think I saw him in the kitchen arm wrestling P.M. to see who's gonna make another beer run with Catherine the Average, who's anything but, believe you me. I mean, who shows up to one of these things looking like Shirley Manson, for some reason channeling Poly Styrene. And yes, that was a falcon on her forearm."

**********

"Hey, Victor, whaddya hear, whaddya say?"

"I'm thinking."

**********

"Attention everybody, it's time for queen mudder to mix up another batch of martinis without using her hands again!"

***********

"So, Mr. Monkey Woods, what do you think of this whole WikiLeaks mess?"

"Now that's what I call a big Nae mair crap!"

"You don't say?"

"I do say. Since, well, I always had him pegged as being more of a little squirt from, well, who knows where the hell?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Him, that tall drink of distilled, my heart, mountain spring water over there with the Helen Shapiro haircut"

"Oh, him. For some reason I thought that he was the guy that came in with shea lo and then took off because Erskin made that crack about the hump on his back."

"That's no hump, that's Nick Hobbs still playing hide and seek with Matthatt and Spicewood. Hey, where you going?"

"I'm not sure, that sushi that Ellis Ian Fields brought is suddenly starting to back up on me."

*************

"Wow, who knew that Morse and Lady Godiva would hit it off so well?"

"Yeah, they're a regular Donny and Marie aren't they?"

"I'll say, to the manor born, and then some, right down to the saddle shoes and matching lower back tattoos of Marc Bolan."

"You sure that's who that was?"

"What, you saw something I didn't?"

"I'm not sure. All I know is that up close, what they were both sporting looked more like Feargal Sharkey of The Undertones. Or, maybe cause the track lighting in here really sucks, perhaps a little too much like Bobby Sands, on or around Day 36."

**************

Bureau, Bureau....what the hell, I didn't recognize you at first. In fact, to tell you the God's honest, I figured you were just another guy lying there in the middle if the dining room table, hoping to maybe sleep off what you could before officially calling it another almost night, before you know, you head back to the office to help Mark sort out Sidney's end of the week totals and more or less scientific-like tabulations.

*************

Charpa?? I think she just took a leap out that window there cause it apparently took that Peurach mofo like an hour and half to just tell her that no, he didn't want another drink, but did once, unfortunately, get stuck in an elevator with Frank Sinatra, Jr., Sarah Miles and Charles Nelson Reilly, was apparently abandoned at the age of 6 by his step parents at a truck stop somewhere along the New Jersey Turnpike, and, if at all possible would someday like to direct something/anything with Liza Minnelli, Mario Cantone and Seymour Cassel in it. Or, if any of those folks are unavailable, then maybe Karen Black, Lewis Black, and Bruce Dern penciled in as possible replacements. Although, due to the fact that he seemed to insist on speaking like either Malcolm McDowell in "A Clockwork Orange" or Clive James after one too many high balls, the overall gist of his ramble-on-a-thon was a little difficult to follow. Especially with Buck E Filbert nearby making so much noise chopping down what he could of Kid Icarus' wooden leg."

***************


[I'm pretty sure I'd never walk away from a conversation with you at a party...pretty sure. This is some of the best stuff you've written on the forums to date and not just because you mentioned me.]



Charpa93
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Charpa93

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Posted: 18 Dec 10 13:32
I think I just saw John Peurach's stream of consciousness coming out of the saxophone. What was in those drinks he ordered?

Lady Godiva
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Posted: 18 Dec 10 14:06
"Hey, I'm sure Armfeetandtoe is our plumber. He's the spitting image of him from the back."

"Let's go and pull Inchcock's pants down and see if he is aptly named".

"I wonder if Jaggedone HAS a jagged one...let's get his pants down too. I've seen lots o' BENT ones, but never seen a jagged one. Wonder where he's been with it??"



Lady Godiva
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Posted: 18 Dec 10 14:17 - Edited By: Lady Godiva, 18 Dec 10 14:22
"Hey, look, Harold Q Fuey is being chased by a load of screaming women and a couple of dozy men all wearing red scarves. Nae Mair Crap's chasing them all. Hey NMC has three heads... I wonder what all that is about?"

"Philbert of Macadamia and Buck E. Filbert are both a bit nutty if you ask me. Even if Filbert spells his name differently. Still nuts!"
**********************************************************
"Do think antonyrosania' is Italian? How DO some writers pick their names....dip their hand in the Scrabble tiles' bag, pick a handful out and arrange them into something that can be pronounced?"

"Beats me!"

**********************************************************

Philbert of Macadamia
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Philbert of Macadamia

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Posted: 18 Dec 10 20:13

Quote: Lady Godiva

"Hey, look, Harold Q Fuey is being chased by a load of screaming women and a couple of dozy men all wearing red scarves. Nae Mair Crap's chasing them all. Hey NMC has three heads... I wonder what all that is about?"

"Philbert of Macadamia and Buck E. Filbert are both a bit nutty if you ask me. Even if Filbert spells his name differently. Still nuts!"
**********************************************************
"Do think antonyrosania' is Italian? How DO some writers pick their names....dip their hand in the Scrabble tiles' bag, pick a handful out and arrange them into something that can be pronounced?"

"Beats me!"

**********************************************************


Lady G:

Please pass me aother drink, preferably a Frangelico (hazelnut), Amaretto (almond) or Nocello (walnut & hazelnut).



There is intelligent life in outer space!
Then why do the UFO's not land on the Earth?
As I said, there is intelligent life in outer space!
Aubergine Underwood
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Aubergine Underwood

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Posted: 18 Dec 10 20:22


Hey, who let Aubergine in here ... I thought cats weren't allowed at the party.

Gorgeous, glistening fur coat, however.

Really shagalicious. Hmmmmm ...

Wild Haggis Couldn't Drag Me Away!
Lady Godiva
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Posted: 18 Dec 10 20:51
"Hey-I met Aubergine Underwood on another site. Not a bad lass actually. Wears a purple scarf most of the time."

************************************************************
"What's Monkey doing? He's trying to 'gag' Lady G.
Hurry, we must save her. We can't live without her blathering on. Monkey's gonna regret this move."

"Yup! He's tried it before with others, little bugger. I hear he gets jealous when he doesn't get enough attention."

"Well Hell's Bells there's three of him and only one of her. Come on! You grab his hands, I'll grab his legs and we'll chuck him out"



 
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