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F Fred Palakon
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Posted: 7 Sep 10 09:21
What is everyone's problem with Wayne Rooney?

He's a young lad with more money than sense, give him a break, he's only human.

Might be worth asking if Mrs Rooney is such a perfect wife, why does he feel the need to visit prostitutes, if she was fulfilling all his needs then why is he playing away?

And lets face it, neither of them would be anything without his footballing talent and if you calculate how much Coleen will get in the divorce relative to how many times they've had sex, I guarantee it's going to have cost Rooney more than £1,200 a night lol

Fergus McCarthy
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Posted: 7 Sep 10 09:36 - Edited By: Fergus McCarthy, 7 Sep 10 09:38
You may have a point Fred but it'll fall on deaf ears with this lot.

To be honest I'm a bit disappointed with young Wayne, it's not the going with hookers so much as the price he paid for them. If you had that sort of money wouldn't you like to think that you would be able to lash out a few bob more for a more exclusive model, so to speak.

5 or 10 grand a night would be like a drop in the ocean to a top player and it would almost certainly have bought him the type of 'lady' that would have been willing enough to do the deed but have enough class and decorum to keep her mouth shut and not go running to the papers for bonus money.

It's true that he has more money than sense but I can't help feeling that if he only had 20 quid he'd still be in the same IQ category.


She probably overcharged him anyway, if you or I stumped up the wonga we'd probably get her for half the price he did.

Ah well, one can only dream.

Good luck.

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Fergus McCarthy
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Posted: 7 Sep 10 09:58
I just had a look at her Fred, I'd go 300 and not a penny more.

That's Euro not Sterling.

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Stevey G.
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Posted: 7 Sep 10 13:38

Quote: F Fred Palakon

What is everyone's problem with Wayne Rooney?

Good one Fred!

You were being ironic I take it???

SG

F Fred Palakon
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Posted: 7 Sep 10 15:56
"Good one Fred!

You were being ironic I take it???"

Nope!

I think Rooney is ruining his marriage in style! And if she sticks with him... well... I 'aint sayin' she a gold digga... etc

Skoob1999
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Posted: 7 Sep 10 17:20
He makes himself fair game.

And I'm a United fan.

Just sayin'

Skoob.

RIP
Jeremy Paxman
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Posted: 7 Sep 10 18:09 - Edited By: Jeremy Paxman, 7 Sep 10 18:10
Anyone (a) from Croxteth (or 'Crocky'), (b) has played for the bitters (Everton) or (c) plays for Man Utd is fair game.

The fact he is all three makes it my sovereign duty to ridicule the cunt.

Aside from that small contribution, I can only continue to pray each evening that he dies of a horrible wasting disease.

Ginger People Don't Have Souls
Jaggedone
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Posted: 7 Sep 10 18:09
Bimbo's wanna lay on Roon, in fact they're queueing up for it

Monkey nutter...
Skoob1999
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Posted: 7 Sep 10 18:15

Quote: Jeremy Paxman

Anyone (a) from Croxteth (or 'Crocky'), (b) has played for the bitters (Everton) or (c) plays for Man Utd is fair game.

The fact he is all three makes it my sovereign duty to ridicule the cunt.

Aside from that small contribution, I can only continue to pray each evening that he dies of a horrible wasting disease.


JP

You got anybody worth ridiculing these days?

Calm down mate!

I was just sayin'

Regards

Skoob.

RIP
Fergus McCarthy
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Posted: 7 Sep 10 18:25

Quote: Jeremy Paxman

Anyone (a) from Croxteth (or 'Crocky'), (b) has played for the bitters (Everton) or (c) plays for Man Utd is fair game.

The fact he is all three makes it my sovereign duty to ridicule the cunt.

Aside from that small contribution, I can only continue to pray each evening that he dies of a horrible wasting disease.





You are a truly horrible individual.

I'm really getting to like you.

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Skoob1999
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Posted: 7 Sep 10 18:32
I kind of like JP too.

He's interesting.

I bet he's a proper smart-arsed gobshite in real life.

Whoah JP!

Put the Stanley knife down son. I was just kiddin'!

Regards

Skoob.

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Jaggedone
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Posted: 7 Sep 10 18:37

Quote: Skoob1999

I kind of like JP too.

He's interesting.

I bet he's a proper smart-arsed gobshite in real life.

Whoah JP!

Put the Stanley knife down son. I was just kiddin'!

Regards

Skoob.


Skoob have you got your stress balls in hand, ying-yang it

Monkey nutter...
Jeremy Paxman
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Posted: 7 Sep 10 20:33
Oh Skoob, if you all only knew who I really was...

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Skoob1999
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Posted: 7 Sep 10 20:38
Probably that Bishop fellow.

The stand-up.

Either that or Phil 'Pinnochio' Thompson.

If you're Tommy Smith I'm not playing.

I'm not that fucking mad

Regards

Skoob.

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Jeremy Paxman
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Posted: 7 Sep 10 21:40
Out of interest, who's gotten the most reads so far for a Rooneygate article?

I'm around 2000 on a couple, Skoob you must have had some decent hits, I've seen yours littering Google News several times now...

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Skoob1999
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Posted: 7 Sep 10 21:53
'Littering's' an apt description JP

Trash really.

Highest ranked Rooneygate so far is the Lowry one - 5684 so far. Just checked.

Sometimes it's all in the headline. Well, having said that, about 90% of it is. But the content is important. If you make a genuine effort to amuse and entertain, casual readers go on to other pages, which is good for the site and our fellow writers.

We have had occasions where people push a headline with little to back it up, and that kind of thing just pisses people off. Viewers and other writers alike. Nothing wrong with being short and to the point - providing there is a point.

Regards

Skoob.



RIP
Skoob1999
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Posted: 7 Sep 10 21:55
Oh - forgot to add that sometimes we do 'in-jokes' like the one I just did about accents.

It won't get many views but if it makes you laugh then it's job done.

Regards

Skoob.

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Jeremy Paxman
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Posted: 7 Sep 10 22:02
It's not like my headlines or content are crap though, seriously, I've put out some seriously well written shit.

Max I've had on anything is around 3,500.

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Skoob1999
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Posted: 7 Sep 10 22:13
Yeah mate, but don't forget, you haven't been around that long.

I've been on here two years now and done almost 2,000 stories. If each one of those gets one view a day, it's 2,000 spoof points.

Not that they do, but with the links on other story pages, I tend to get an awful lot of single hits on stories.

Anyway, the chart isn't really any measure of the quality of what you submit. Feedback from fellow writers is far more important - although if you do hit that number one spot, it's a nice feeling.

We all get lucky at some point and have astory that goes stratospheric. I did a load of old crap one time about the man with the world's largest penis and the woman with the world's largest vagina getting axed by a TV channel.

Last time I looked, it had 70 odd thousand hits, and it stayed in the Most Popular thing for months.

Hope this helps you and others.

Regards

Skoob.

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Throckmorton Turdblossom
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Throckmorton Turdblossom

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Posted: 7 Sep 10 22:20
Wow, now I want more than ever to write a story about Wayne Rooney.

By the way, who is Wayne Rooney?

This reminds me of the person who didn't want up to write tennis stories because they were offended by them. That was followed quickly by the person who didn't like stories about Vikkie Carr. They were followed by the man who loved to take it in the ass from Ron Paul and didn't want any stories against him or his politics.

The best and fastest way to get 100+ stories written about someone is to ask Spoofers not to write stories about them. That's Newton's 13th law.

Wanna buy a duck?
Skoob1999
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Posted: 7 Sep 10 22:41
TT/J-Man

Wayne Rooney - Manchester United and England footballer, originally from Liverpool, where he played for Everton.

Rival fans call him Shrek because he's got sticky out ears and a shaved head. Although he isn't green. Although he might be if he gets seasick or something, I wouldn't really know.

Revelations regarding him consorting with £1200 a throw hooker recently revealed. Name: Jennifer Thompson 'Juicy Jenny' according to facebook. When his wife was pregnant. Massive tabloid scandal. Scored for England tonight too.

For the latest UK scandal (and a ton of points) try:

www.thesun.co.uk

It's a tabloid.

Glad to be of service to my jalapeno/tex-mex loving afficionado from Las Cruces.

Take care buddy.

Skoob.

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Jeremy Paxman
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Posted: 7 Sep 10 22:50
Think I'll stick with the quality not quantity plan, I aint got time to write article after article every day or chase points, I am interested though in what's a good benchmark for a single story - standalone from a cold start (i.e. what's the estimation of a good benchmark for a successful story if you removed all the other factors like previous stories written).

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Skoob1999
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Posted: 7 Sep 10 23:13
That would be when you get forum postings from veterans like QM, J-Man, Abel, Bureau, CJ etc congratulating you on a job well done.

No finer praise than that of your peers.

And if Fergus, Monkey Woods or Jesus Budda ever rate your stuff - you know for sure you're on a winner.

Regards

Skoob.

RIP
Jeremy Paxman
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Posted: 7 Sep 10 23:16 - Edited By: Jeremy Paxman, 7 Sep 10 23:17

Quote: Throckmorton Turdblossom

Wow, now I want more than ever to write a story about Wayne Rooney.

By the way, who is Wayne Rooney?


Ignore Skoobs description since he himself is mouthbreathing shitcunt affiliated.

Allow me to enlighten you my colonial friend...

Rooney is a mouthbreathing shitcunt from a council estate full of mouthbreathing shitcunts called Croxteth where the local youths like to murder innocent kids because they're trying to emulate mouthbreathing shitcunts from inner city America.

Anyway, said mouthbreathing shitcunt went to play football for a whole team of mouthbreathing shitcunts called Everton. That's proper football by the way, not the mouthbreathing shitcunt type of football played in Yankland. I digress. Following a short career with Everton, Rooney made the natural step in joining a football team that epitomises mouthbreathing shitcunts - Manchester United (known across the land as Manure). Manure and their team of supreme mouthbreathing shitcunts have spent decades trying to surpass the almighty ahievements of Liverpool football club, the most successful team in British history.

So, Mr Mouthbreathing shitcunt married a mouthbreathing splitarse from said council estate and together they have a baby mouthbreathing shitcunt. During shitcunt splitarses pregnancy - the mouthbreathing shitcunt repeatedly paid for vanilla sex with a brass from Bolton which is near to the capital of moutbreathing shitcunt land - the City of Manchester.

Now, mouthbreathing shitcunt (we'll call him MS from now on) also plays for England which is itself a nation of mouthbreathing shitcunts despised by the independent Peoples Republic of Merseyside aka Scouseland aka Liverpool. MS scored a goal in tonights match against Switzerland which is both famous for being neutral about shitcunt mouthbreathers like Hitler and for Toblerone bars (which mouthbreathing shitcunts often struggle to eat).

Like that mouthbreathing shitcunt golfer; MS is also sponsored by Nike and EA Sports. MS is also sponsored by Coca Cola and several others who collectively pay him about $10m a year on top of his club wages which is about the same amount. On top of that, his mouthbreathing splitarse has forged a tenuous celebrity career off the back of MS and she herself earns several million dollars a year. Between them, they have multi-million dollar mouthbreathing shitcunt centres in Manchester, Miami and Barbados.

A lot of the furore is because MS is an idol and role model to thousands of little mouthbreathing shitcunts who support Manure and England. His 'brand' has been built on family values which itself was done in spite of the fact MS had previously been caught nobbing a grandmother brass when he was about 17.

Thanks to the UK's pathetic obsession with celebrity mouthbreathing shitcunts and related gossip, this is major headlines amongst the mouthbreathing shitcunts who read scummy newspapers like The Sun which is itself the most evil and vile newspaper ever created by mouthbreathing shitcunts. A newspaper which lied and made horrific false claims about the deaths of 96 football fans who went to watch a football match and never came home. An event that Manure like to sing songs about.

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Skoob1999
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Posted: 7 Sep 10 23:31
One way to kill an informative thread is that JP.

My, my, what short memories you people have.

All out yer prams over you know what, and yet you mob were making airplane wings at us from the kop, the Anny Road End and the Kemlyn road stand for years previous.

That was funny (to you) but you can't hack it when you get it back.

That previous diatribe was unnecessary and distinctly low class.

I expected better, to be honest.

I'll bet you a tenner, that because of your previous posting this thread gets pulled. Which would be a shame, because prior to your potty-mouthed intervention there were some useful pointers and some good discussion points for casual observers.

No malice intended, but maybe think sometimes before you go off on one.

Best Regards

Skoob.

RIP

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