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Noshing Mink
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Noshing Mink

Location: Somewhere in England
Registered: 5 Apr 07

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Posted: 8 Aug 10 16:50
A really funny thing happened to me the other day. I thought I would share it with all the nice people at the Spoof!

I went into a shop to buy some milk and I didn't have the exact change. It was very annoying because I don't like breaking notes. But I had to anyway and I ended up with a fist full of small change.

After I left the shop, I suddenly remembered that I had pockets on each side of my suit trousers and, when I checked, I found enough change to have bought the milk without breaking a fiver!

As you can imagine, I laughed all the way back to the car and even shared the amusing experience with a traffic warden who was writing me a ticket!

Has anyone else got a funny story they care to share? Don't worry if it's not as funny as my one. I would still love to read it.

The Baron of Bollocks
Colonel Juan
This user is offline El quien ose, sátirisa
Colonel Juan

Location: C/O Juanita Juan
Registered: 24 Aug 09

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Posted: 8 Aug 10 17:46


That's a very funny thing to have happened Nosh..

It's got me thinking..

Have I ever had anything like that happen to me..?

Mmmm

Look.. here's a funny thing. Happening in my life right now. This very minute..

The smell of toast coming through the window..

Where from? Not me. Not the Wife..

Must be from next door..

Or next door but one..

It's a real mystery..

A "Who burnt the toast" mystery..

I'll just pop off to investigate..

And knowing how much you're all on tenterhooks..

I do promise to get back and reveal ALL..

Solve the case, as it were..

The case of the burning toast...

Yes... Off now..





RIP
birbee
This user is offline Yorkshire Kid
birbee

Location: gone....................
Registered: 17 Jan 09

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Posted: 8 Aug 10 19:45
A funny thing happened to me just yesterday, as it happens.

I took my dog out for a walk, we went to the local field and had a rare old time, me throwing the ball and the dog fetching it back for me to throw again.

The dog did it's business and me, being the responsible dog owner I am, bagged it and binned it.

Once we had enough we headed home and I fed the tired mutt.

It was only when I had settled down in front of the tele that I realised that I don't actually own a dog..............

And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts,
And I looked and behold: a pale horse.
And his name, that sat on him, was Death.
And Hell followed with him........
victor nicholas
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victor nicholas

Location: Suwanee River
Registered: 20 Apr 08

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Posted: 8 Aug 10 22:09
I wish I could hear the dog's side of the story.

"Vottznewpuzzykatt?"
Monkey Woods
This user is offline Dirty Ape
Monkey Woods

Location: Krung Thep
Registered: 29 Dec 06

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Posted: 9 Aug 10 00:57 - Edited By: Monkey Woods, 9 Aug 10 00:58
You can:

A funny thing happened to me just yesterday, as it happens.

I went for a walk, to the local field and had a rare old time, this bloke throwing the ball and me fetching it back for him to throw again.

I did me business and the bloke bagged it and binned it.

Once we had enough he headed home but, bizarrely, grabbed me under his arm and took me with him!

It was only when he had got home and settled down in front of the tele that he realised that he didn't actually own me, and subsequently threw me out into the street..............

Cake!


To have ambitions, was my ambition
victor nicholas
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victor nicholas

Location: Suwanee River
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Posted: 10 Aug 10 01:02
Well done Monkey.

Now let's hear from the turd's point of view.

I don't think David Frost ever said that.

"Vottznewpuzzykatt?"
Monkey Woods
This user is offline Dirty Ape
Monkey Woods

Location: Krung Thep
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Posted: 10 Aug 10 01:35 - Edited By: Monkey Woods, 10 Aug 10 01:37
A funny thing happened to me just yesterday, as it happens.

I went for a walk, inside my host's bowel, to the local field and had a rare old time. This bloke was throwing a ball and my host fetching it back for him to throw again.

Then me host shat me upon an area of grass, and the bloke bagged it and binned it.

Once they had enough the bloke headed home but, bizarrely, grabbed my host under his arm and took the filthy, flea-ridden canine fuckwit with him!

It was only when the bloke had got home and settled down in front of the tele that he realised that he didn't actually own a dog, and subsequently threw it back out into the street..............


You knew I would, Vic.


You want it from the viewpoint of the grass?

To have ambitions, was my ambition
victor nicholas
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victor nicholas

Location: Suwanee River
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Posted: 10 Aug 10 11:56 - Edited By: victor nicholas, 10 Aug 10 11:58
I funny thing happened to me as well yesterday,

I dreamed I got on a subway, above ground.

It was an older model, dirty, perhaps New York c. 1970.

We entered a tunnel and travelled it seems slowly through the darkness when water started coming through the windows, perhaps a sewage pipe had broken, the smell was foul. The liquid was corrosive and started melting everything in the car except for the giant corn niblet in front of me wearing pince-nez who seemed quite oblivious to it all and was reading a newspaper.

Then slowly, imperceptibly things started to dry out until I felt trapped in the congealed mass. I began to give up hope of ever leaving the place.

Then sun!

Sun, sun, glorious sun!

From nowhere it seemed a sudden force accellerated us all with great velocity and I feared for my life as we lifted off the rails propelled with great force like a rocket and just as quickly came to rest safely on a giant thicket.

A giant hand then came down, pitched me in a giant bag and binned me.

"Vottznewpuzzykatt?"
Noshing Mink
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Noshing Mink

Location: Somewhere in England
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Posted: 11 Aug 10 16:27
I was thinking about a funny story I had read and it made me laugh so much that I actually peed!

Fortunately, I was sitting on the toilet at the time.

Phew, what a relief!

The Baron of Bollocks
Jen
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Registered: 2 Aug 10

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Posted: 12 Aug 10 08:46
A funny thing happened to me in Boots the other day. I was at the till paying for a few bits and bobs and the checkout lady asked me if I had a Boots card for my points. I handed her what I thought was the right card but it was in fact my Sainsbury's Nectar card!!! I mean can you believe it!!! We laughed and laughed. In the end I handed her the right card and got my points. I'm no mug.

Last one out please turn off the lights.
Noshing Mink
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Noshing Mink

Location: Somewhere in England
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Posted: 12 Aug 10 15:55
A funny thing happened to my, err, friend the other day. He was, err, borrowing some stationery from his office, including cartridges for his HP Deskjet printer.

When I, I mean "my friend", got home and tried to install one of the cartridges, he realised that he has a Brother printer, so the cartridge he had borrowed didn't work. The next day, he was caught red-handed as he was trying to smuggle it back into the office store.

Fortunately, his boss saw the funny side and only docked a week's pay!

The Baron of Bollocks
Duncan Whitehead
This user is offline The Innuendo Kid
Duncan Whitehead

Registered: 14 Dec 07

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Posted: 12 Aug 10 22:42
A funny thing happened me today also, I've been screwing these twins and nearly got them confused. But luckily I've devised a cunning way to tell them apart, Lisa has blond hair that curls at the end and Derek has got a mustache.

(Posted this before so don't read close call - it's the same thing - funny thing happened I thought of this and posted it then saw Noshing Mink's funny post and funny thing is I decided to re-post, luckily I was having a shit at the time so was able to use my laptop to wipe my arse, phew!)

Erskin Quint
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Erskin Quint

Registered: 15 Oct 07

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Posted: 12 Aug 10 22:50
You know, it's amazing.

Funny things happen to us all the time.

yours faithfully,

The Englishman, The Irishman and The Scotsman (I'm the one named after a famous newspaper and also a train, though the train is a flyer and I'm not - neither is the newspaper, it's a proper paper not a leaflet, despite the vile calumny spread abroad by its detractors)

SERIOUS ABOUT DRIVEL

 
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