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President Bush
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Posted: 20 Nov 06 05:25 - Edited By: President Bush, 20 Nov 06 05:27

Remember there's two components to this game. I'll re-clarify, if someone PHYSICALLY makes you laugh out loud you must give them a gold star so .. for Mr Peno's last entry another GOLD STAR to Mr Peno. He's going to win second place folks unless somebody does something.
Has to be a PHYSICAL audible LOL though to gold star someone.


Waking up next to Liza Minelli? Leroy, lion that he was kinda wished for the days of waking up at the Soprano's mansion with a gun to his head .. still stoned from last night's festivities but COLD as well with the thermostat set on "Miami".

Jalapenoman
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Posted: 20 Nov 06 15:03
Leroy attempted to start a fire to warm himself, but the flue was clogged. Upon investigation, he found it full of dead casting agents who had not put Liza in the film versions of recent musicals (Chicago and Rent)

Being raised by an Italian mother on the Mexican border made me realize that entrees are not edible without jalapenos, onions, green chilis, or garlic. Hence, I am the J-man.
jd Balderdash
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Posted: 20 Nov 06 16:16 - Edited By: jd Balderdash, 20 Nov 06 16:17
Liza's chimney sweep (Gary Coleman) working overtime cleared out the flue, the chimney too full of dead decaying SANTA CLAUS'S past and present.

Jalapenoman
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Jalapenoman

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Posted: 20 Nov 06 16:44
As Leroy stood warming his hands over the fire, Liza strolled through the room naked. At the sight, the lion got the willies; he did not, however, get a chubby.

Being raised by an Italian mother on the Mexican border made me realize that entrees are not edible without jalapenos, onions, green chilis, or garlic. Hence, I am the J-man.
jd Balderdash
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Posted: 20 Nov 06 16:56 - Edited By: jd Balderdash, 20 Nov 06 16:58
Seeing Liza Minelli disrobed, Leroy in fact got, as postulated by Einstein back in 1948 a NEGATIVE Chubby. Poor Liza, now going on 98 (doesn't look a day past 87) promised Leroy that she'd be chubby no more, go anorexic if Leroy promised to stay with her even if at the moment she did look like Rosanne after gobbling down 10 buckets of KFC wings.
And a 20 gallon tub of bacon dripp'nz, hold the diet Pepsi.

Jalapenoman
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Jalapenoman

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Posted: 20 Nov 06 17:30
In an attempt to burn the image from his mind, Leroy headed to the neighborhood pub. While there, he hoped to drown his problems and burn his eyes out with a few drinks. At the bar, he watched "The Best Damn Sports Show, Period", hosted by Roseanne's ex-husband, Tom Arnold.

Note" kudos and a gold star to J.D. for the "negative chubby."

Being raised by an Italian mother on the Mexican border made me realize that entrees are not edible without jalapenos, onions, green chilis, or garlic. Hence, I am the J-man.
jd Balderdash
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Posted: 20 Nov 06 18:04

thx for the STAR. AND, according to Stephen "H", just like black holes, negative chubbies DO exist in this universe (youch that's gotta hurt). I WOULD have star'd you for that "burn the image out of his mind" remark but you've got enough stars already for now.


Poor Liza with a "Z". Her boy toy, Leroy off in a sports bar drinking Pina's, slapping the waitress's on the .. rump and watching the BEST DARNED SPORTS SHOW on the airwaves, it not being the FOX one hosted by Rosie's ex but a pre-pre view of the ROSE BOWL coming up next year where Michigan, Freddy Kruger-like after all that's happenned to them lashes out at Ohio State and generates for us primetime viewers, first time in the history of college tv football broadcasting .. fatalities. Stay tuned to FOX, whatever it is they'll BRING it to ya.





Jalapenoman
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Posted: 20 Nov 06 20:33 - Edited By: Jalapenoman, 20 Nov 06 20:49
The next morning, Leroy knelt in prayer at the great porcelain God, offering his oblations to the toilet. He felt like something the human dragged home.

Note: If everyone in the world got a negative chubby at the same time (from seeing the aforementioned Rosanne naked or something similar), would that mean that the orientals were actually then the biggest and the black guys were the smallest?

As j.d. also came up with the concept of the negative chubby, I expect him to take the ideas from here and craft a spoof story around it. The scientific term for it can be a "derection."


Being raised by an Italian mother on the Mexican border made me realize that entrees are not edible without jalapenos, onions, green chilis, or garlic. Hence, I am the J-man.
Gail Farrelly
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Posted: 21 Nov 06 01:30
After Leroy finished at the toilet, the bathroom was flooded (facilities not planned for 600-pound lions), so he went to a hall closet to look for a mop. What he found was Dorothy's red sparkly shoes from the Wizard of Oz. He looked at them and wondered if they'd fit him. If he put them on and clicked them, he could go anywhere in the world he wanted....

Jalapenoman
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Jalapenoman

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Posted: 21 Nov 06 03:08
Leroy couldn't stop himself and so he tried on the shoes, clicked his heels together three times, said "there's no place like home", and found himself in Detroit.

Being raised by an Italian mother on the Mexican border made me realize that entrees are not edible without jalapenos, onions, green chilis, or garlic. Hence, I am the J-man.
President Bush
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Posted: 21 Nov 06 13:48
Leroy, now in the unsafest city in the known universe unfotunately got ticketed by Detroit Police after he ran a stop sign while chasing his breakfast prey (Mayor Kilpatrick)

Jalapenoman
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Posted: 21 Nov 06 17:04
To make matters worse, the officer that ticketed him was fellow Detroit native Robocop, who Leroy could not just eat as a tasty morsel. Swallowing his pride, he put his John Hancock on the bottom of his traffic ticket.

Being raised by an Italian mother on the Mexican border made me realize that entrees are not edible without jalapenos, onions, green chilis, or garlic. Hence, I am the J-man.
jd Balderdash
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Posted: 21 Nov 06 17:29
Leroy, appearing in Detroit Night Court the next day(night) was asked by Judge Hatchet

"Who You BE Lion? John Hancock or Leroy the Lion per your LA driver's license".

Leroy, shaking in his paws (lion boots) asked the night court audience

"What's the right answer to that question" the audience remaining silent, the audience itself afraid for it's life living in Detroit. Leroy, fearing for HIS life in Detroit walked up to the court reporter and signed his John Hancock, that Hancock reading .. "Leroy the Lion".



Jalapenoman
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Posted: 21 Nov 06 18:24
About the time Leroy folded his receipts and stuffed them into his pockets, word came through the court of his actions in California. Leroy was immediately stuffed back into the handcuffs and delivered to the county lock-up.

Being raised by an Italian mother on the Mexican border made me realize that entrees are not edible without jalapenos, onions, green chilis, or garlic. Hence, I am the J-man.
Gail Farrelly
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Posted: 21 Nov 06 21:35
At the jail they ran into Jim Leyland, manager of the Detroit Tigers, who was there to make a complaint against an irate fan who had gone postal on him in a bar. Leyland asked that Leroy be released in his custody with the proviso that he agree to work for the Tigers organization, in trouble with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. Leroy weighed the offer. . . .

President Bush
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Posted: 21 Nov 06 22:40
You never know when a real LOL is goin to happen, that might not have even been funny but Gold Star to Gail. And I don't even know why. Rules are again, if ANY LOL erupts from your belly, you, like the late J Cochran said MUST Gold Star (only Johnny C used the "acquit" verb, hence .. OJ .. loose)


"Lions and Tigers and Bears oh MY!" .. the song kept singing itself in Leroy's mind as he slept that night. Waking up (ravenous again) the lion wisely ate a case of Spam (instead of a family of 5) and headed down to meet with the manager of the Detroit Tigers. Leroy, his belly full of spam was NOT going postal THIS morning God willing though that cute little postal worker stuffing envelopes through a door slot at 45th and Main did cause the Lion to confront his feminine side, the postal worker being named Ralph.



Jalapenoman
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Posted: 21 Nov 06 23:42
As Leroy pulled up to the offices of the baseball team, and parked in the employee parking, he saw a streaker running across the street. It gave new meaning to the term "Lions and Tigers and Bares."


I have been wanting to use that pun for a while, but someone else had to bring up the song! Oh well, better late than never.



Being raised by an Italian mother on the Mexican border made me realize that entrees are not edible without jalapenos, onions, green chilis, or garlic. Hence, I am the J-man.
Gail Farrelly
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Posted: 22 Nov 06 01:16
Totally natural, food-on-the-run -- Leroy's favorite! He was tempted but didn't want to be arrested again. But then the streaker hopped into his car, a car with a St. Louis Cardinals decal. Leroy knew that no one in Detroit would care that a Cardinals fan had been polished off. He quickly grabbed the streaker from his car and gobbled him down. Then he headed for the Tigers personnel office.

jd Balderdash
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Posted: 22 Nov 06 08:23
Having only a belly full of spam and a Cardinals fan Leroy during his interview had a HARD time indeed not gobbling down his interviewer but he did it! Good Lion Leroy .. GOOD LION!

"So, Mr Leroy" the interviewer asked .. what's your greatest weakness?"

Leroy replied (burp)

"Well, sometimes, when I get really really hungry .. I .. I eat everybody in the office does that disqualify me from the job .. speak your words carefully.

Jalapenoman
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Posted: 22 Nov 06 19:03
"Of course your hired and really overqualified," said the interviewer as he hid the salt shaker under his desk. "Due to your species, we'd like to make you our official liason with the football team across town: the Detroit Lions."

Being raised by an Italian mother on the Mexican border made me realize that entrees are not edible without jalapenos, onions, green chilis, or garlic. Hence, I am the J-man.
Gail Farrelly
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Posted: 22 Nov 06 21:27
Gold star to Mr. J for that saltshaker comment. Mr. J. is earning gold stars like Leroy grabs up people!

Leroy's stomach rumbled at the thought of the beautiful buffet across town with all those huge, meaty players. He didn't know what the word 'liaison' meant, but hey, he'd find out. Quite fired up, he left the office, hailed a cab, ate the cabdriver, and drove himself to his new job.



jd Balderdash
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Posted: 22 Nov 06 23:29 - Edited By: jd Balderdash, 22 Nov 06 23:32

The salt shaker thing caught me off guard too.


Blood in the Bronco, Blood on his snout, Blood all over his paws poor Leroy with only a California driver's license again had an encounter with Detroit's finest outside the Detroit Lion's headquarters. Figuring he was in trouble enough ANYWAY Leroy fired up a joint, blew the smoke in the officer's face then enjoyed a tasty dessert of
Cop ala' mode.

Jalapenoman
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Jalapenoman

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Posted: 23 Nov 06 00:23
After his tasty meal, Leroy had satisfied his munchies. He went into the offices, slammed his paw down on a counter, and said (in a slightly buzzed tone) "I understand you losers wanna finally learn something from the Lion King!"

Being raised by an Italian mother on the Mexican border made me realize that entrees are not edible without jalapenos, onions, green chilis, or garlic. Hence, I am the J-man.
President Bush
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Posted: 23 Nov 06 02:09
Detroit Lion's owner "what the heck his name is" seeing a 600 pound buzzed out fully grown lion with the munchies bust a paw through his counter politely (and wisely) offered Leroy his own half eaten bucket of KFC.

Gail Farrelly
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Posted: 23 Nov 06 05:45 - Edited By: Gail Farrelly, 23 Nov 06 05:47
It was popcorn chicken, not Leroy's favorite, but he didn't want to insult his new boss, so he made a grab for the bucket and gulped it down in one swallow. Suddenly, panic! A kernel got caught in his throat, and he began to choke. Decision time for the Detroit Lions owner. How badly did he need a liaison? How safe was it to give the Heimlich maneuver to a 600-lb. lion?


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