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Bargis Tryhol
This user is offline The Tripod


Location: way down south
Registered: 5 Oct 09

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Posted: 18 Dec 09 22:10
Anyone have a truly bad snow storm experience to share?

If my mother knew I wrote spoofs, she'd kill me. She thinks I'm selling dope.
Morse
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Morse

Location: South Carolina, usa
Registered: 20 Jul 08

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Posted: 18 Dec 09 23:42


ours was an ice storm in Maine about 7 years ago...in January...no power for 9 days....most of the trees snapped from the layers of ice, and of course the power lines were all down from either trees falling on them, or the weight of the ice on the lines.....

had a fireplace and woodstove and a generator for lights, but had to dip water from the dug well....finally hooked up generator to get the oil furnace going and it took about 8 more days to get the house up to temperature.....

when we were kids, we loved snow storms.....too old for that shit now!

Morse

Whether you're rich or you're poor, it always pays to have money!
Seanachie
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Registered: 12 Nov 09

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Posted: 19 Dec 09 02:06 - Edited By: Seanachie, 19 Dec 09 02:16
A few years ago a friend of mine wanted to experience a 'real' Christmas with her toddler Daughter. My friend is Jewish but her Daughter's Father (whom she had separated from) is Christian.

They came 'up' here (Pocono Mntns. Pa, over two thousand feet elevation) the day before Christmas Eve. I cut a tree down in the yard ( a Hemlock), topped it; Walaa...instant Christmas Tree. We had some fun decorating it and the kid loved crawling under it the following Christmas Day gathering up her gifts.

We got hit with a blizzard on Christmas Eve (27 inches of snow)that lasted into late Christmas day. All went fine and dandy till that lovely toddler began going into tantrums and screams akin to bloody murder. All the highways were closed here for three days. They left when things were passable with the lovely Miss screaming now in protest. Just a 'phase' she was going through according to Mom.

Other than the kid screaming her bloody head off....I guess I would call the 'mission' a success. My eardrums still hurt though. It will be fun to remind the Lovely Lass when they return for a visit from the West Coast they all relocated to. Hopefully, the kid has gotten over her 'phase'.

Bargis Tryhol
This user is offline The Tripod


Location: way down south
Registered: 5 Oct 09

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Posted: 19 Dec 09 02:42
Mine was in Colorado in early November a few years back with a bigger than expected snowfall. Weather report said snow squalls...T'was complete B-S!

We were up at around 9,000 feet elk hunting and the snow started coming down mid-morning. Temperature dropped rapidly and the wind started to gust pretty strong.
By noon all traces of the trails were under snow and we knew we had better get ourselves down to the camp before it piled up to deep to drive down. Walking would've been pretty dangerous.

In a few short hours snow in some areas was almost three foot deep because of the winds. Our hike back to the truck which in normal times would've been about an hour took us three. Temperature was zero degress F.

Once there we really had to be careful getting down to the camp. With chains on all four whells and 4WD, we made it back almost at dark, only to have to drive out again and find another truck that was stuck on another trail. The driver managed to get it sideways coming down the steep grade. We had to winch it out in the dark amidst the swirling snow.
We finally hit the sack at 11PM when everyone was safely back. Needless to say, there was no hunting the next morning.

The storm was so severe, across the way was another mountain and search/rescue had choppers up the next looking for stranded hunters all over the mountain. They flew by us but we waved them off since we were OK.

If my mother knew I wrote spoofs, she'd kill me. She thinks I'm selling dope.
Fergus McCarthy
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Fergus McCarthy

Location: Hibernia.
Registered: 17 Jan 07

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Posted: 19 Dec 09 03:03
I've never done cocaine, never will.

I'd be afraid I'd like it.

You want me as a moderator!
You need me as a moderator!!!
queen mudder
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queen mudder

Location: london and nyc
Registered: 26 May 04

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Posted: 19 Dec 09 11:02
Good man, Fergus. Spoof voice of reason etc.



Gravity is a myth, the earth sux?
OIF2Sniper
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OIF2Sniper

Location: Washington's Mexico
Registered: 5 Nov 09

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Posted: 19 Dec 09 15:40
My friends shoved a whole bunch down my pants, that sucked.

If a joke falls in the woods and there's nobody there to hear it, was it really that funny?
NickFun
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NickFun

Location: Location: Location!
Registered: 26 Jan 06

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Posted: 19 Dec 09 15:46 - Edited By: NickFun, 19 Dec 09 15:49
The Blizzard of 1978 was one of the worst storms in history! I was only 17 years old. In the midst of the blizzard my mom asked me to go out and get groceries. First I called my girlfriend. We met at the catholic church, climbed the stairs and had sex in the tower. Then, after I dropped off the groceries, we spent the day sledding.

Come to think of it, no, I have no bad snow storm experiences.

Oh, there were a couple of times I was lost in the mountains. I'd just whip out the tent and bag, kill some food and hope to survive until morning. That sort of thing.

Signature lines are for psychos.
Madame Bitters
This user is offline Sweeter than sugar
Madame Bitters

Location: The heartland of America
Registered: 20 Nov 08

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Posted: 21 Dec 09 04:04 - Edited By: Madame Bitters, 21 Dec 09 04:05
No snow storms in Dallas. I've had few tornados experiences, but what Texan hasn't?

Keep the candy, leave the booze
IainB
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IainB

Location: (noun) a particular place
Registered: 7 Oct 08

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Posted: 21 Dec 09 11:20
This is the UK, we don't need 12 inches of snow to cause power outages, traffic chaos and thousands of deaths.

A twelfth of an inch normally suffices for that.

We export grit to the continent we have that much of the stuff. Occasionally, I'd like to see us keep some for ourselves. We've had an early snowfall this year, and the people in charge of the grit said "The snow has caught us by surprise"

It's fucking winter, what a surprise, it's snowed. Just like last winter, and the preceding 12 billion winters before it.

The UK are the laughing stock of every other snowy nation because the penny pinching bureaucrats don't want to start digging up the grit too early in case they don't need it, and it costs money. Salt with a best before date? Weird. I've got salt in my cupboard I've had for 20 years, and it's fine. Actually, that's a lie, I used the salt this morning so I didn't die going up the drive.

The snow is so 'bad' in the UK at the moment that a train got stuck in the Channel Tunnel. Come on! That can't be real, it must be a spoof.

Oh, and somebody tell 4x4 drivers that they might have good grip for starting, but when they want to stop they're the same as every other car and sledge on the road, so slow down!

And I swear if somebody says that there is supposed to be global warming to me one more time.....

Rant over.

Iain

If 42 is the answer, the question is if 24 looks in the mirror, who does she see?
Skoob1999
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Skoob1999

Location: Out on a limb
Registered: 5 Sep 08

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Posted: 21 Dec 09 16:14
During the great Pennine blizzard of '78 I happened across a man buried up to his neck in snow, and obviously in distress.

When I offered to help, he asked me for a cigarette. I dutifully lit a cigarette for him and stuck it between his lips.

With only his head stuck up out of the snow, I doubted that I'd be able to dig him out on my own, but I wanted to keep him calm so I asked him if there was anything else I could do to help?

"You could bring some hay for my horse," he told me. "I was riding him when the blizzard hit and he's fucking starving under all this snow."

RIP
Bargis Tryhol
This user is offline The Tripod


Location: way down south
Registered: 5 Oct 09

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Posted: 21 Dec 09 16:25
Groan..........

If my mother knew I wrote spoofs, she'd kill me. She thinks I'm selling dope.
Skoob1999
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Skoob1999

Location: Out on a limb
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Posted: 21 Dec 09 16:41
Sorry BT

Couldn't resist it.

The oldies are the goldies.

Or in the case of that joke, probably not.

Regards

Skoob

RIP
birbee
This user is offline Yorkshire Kid
birbee

Location: gone....................
Registered: 17 Jan 09

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Posted: 21 Dec 09 17:42
Sorry, but it made me laugh out loud.

Happy Christmas...........

And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts,
And I looked and behold: a pale horse.
And his name, that sat on him, was Death.
And Hell followed with him........
Geneva Slim
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Geneva Slim

Location: Illinois, The Scoundrel State
Registered: 9 Sep 09

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Posted: 23 Dec 09 19:36

Quote: Madame Bitters

No snow storms in Dallas. I've had few tornados experiences, but what Texan hasn't?

Hi, MB -

How U B?

Let's play "Name That Tune" -

"Well there's floodin' down in Texas
All of the telephone lines are down
Well there's floodin' down in Texas
All of the telephone lines are down
And I've been tryin' to call my baby
Lord and I can't get a single sound

Well dark clouds are rollin' in
Man I'm standin' out in the rain
Well dark clouds are rollin' in
Man I'm standin' out in the rain
Yeah flood water keep a rollin'
Man it's about to drive poor me insane

Well I'm leavin' you baby
Lord and I'm goin' back home to stay
Well I'm leavin' you baby
Lord and I'm goin' back home to stay
Well back home are no floods or tornados
Baby and the sun shines every day. "

----------------
I miss this man every single damned day, and I always will.

Regards,
G. Slim
(I was born in Austin, by the way. MAN I miss Texas.)




I'M OUT, BABY, I'M OUT!
Geneva Slim
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Geneva Slim

Location: Illinois, The Scoundrel State
Registered: 9 Sep 09

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Posted: 23 Dec 09 20:06
OOps, almost forgot my horrible snow story.

December, 1989. Heading west toward Dixon, IL, on tollway, in my bad-ass '85 Chevy Blazer. A bit snowy, but hey, it's Illinois in winter.

Suddenly, hit black ice. Tach goes off the charts; car starts doing really forceful donuts. Flew airborne, all four tires off road, and headed into a cut-down cornfield, far below roadbed.

Hit ground still spinning like a dreidel. Something pushed my seat forward, shoving me knees-first into dashboard. Stuff in car kept hitting me in the head from all the spinning, not least of which was a huge spare tire on a huge aluminum rim. OW!

Came to a stop impaled on the tollway fence, which caught on my gas tank. Ran the hell out of the wreck and just kept going. Finally collapsed in cornfield; sat down on a corn stalk that went right up my ass. Double OW!

Scorecard: Concussion, permanent loss of hearing in right ear, and fractured right leg at kneecap. (Running out of wreck like a maniac didn't help that much, but had no idea I was injured.)

I thank God every day my kid wasn't with me. Oh, yeah, and that I survived.

Needless to say, I never drive on ice. I can barely watch ice hockey.




I'M OUT, BABY, I'M OUT!
victor nicholas
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victor nicholas

Location: Suwanee River
Registered: 20 Apr 08

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Posted: 24 Dec 09 02:19 - Edited By: victor nicholas, 24 Dec 09 05:11
I was dating my wife and got snowed in at her place, not a bad thing.

Running low on grub, like a cad I ordered out Chinese food.

The delivery man arrived fresh to a new country from Hong Kong without proper footwear, he could only make it to the curb as the snow was so deep so I met him half way, he was dancing from one foot to another in the snow as he handed me the food saying,

"So feet" "So feet"

"Vottznewpuzzykatt?"
Madame Bitters
This user is offline Sweeter than sugar
Madame Bitters

Location: The heartland of America
Registered: 20 Nov 08

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Posted: 24 Dec 09 05:24
Geneva:

Texas Flood by the late, great Stevie Ray Vaughn.

My Uncle played in a band with his older bro Jimmy (Fabulous Thunderbirds) in the 70s. Said Stevie Ray was a pest.

SRV had a terrible drug problem and after he'd been clean and sober for a few years he dies in a helicopter crash.

That's a bitch.

Keep the candy, leave the booze
emrldpeeps
This user is offline Banned


Location: Ranch area Florida
Registered: 25 Dec 09

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Posted: 26 Dec 09 23:14
Well since I was born in Israel and it being a desert I never saw snow and when we moved to the states it was spring. My father bought a Ranch and between diamond cutting he bred and sold Texas cow ponies. To the King Ranch and LBJ's ranch. Anyway the first snow storm came while we were sleeping. I got up and got ready for school with my winter coat and rubber boots on over my shoes and my mittens. No one told us about the wind chill factor, since I was a very small child (only weighed 3 pounds at birth) the wind scooped me up like I was nothing and abruptly dropped me into a 6ft snow drift.I was chocking not able to breathe in the snow. My brothers not knowing what to do ran to the house got my Father and some of the ranch hands to come dig me out. Once they got to me I was blue. So a run to the ER and placed naked in warm water till my body temp came back to normal. At 13 I came to Florida to attend USF as a med student never returning to Pa and the terrible snow storms they have up there and with conviction I can say I don't miss it one darn minute.

Got my dog,got my horse don't need no damn cowboy
Geneva Slim
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Geneva Slim

Location: Illinois, The Scoundrel State
Registered: 9 Sep 09

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Posted: 29 Dec 09 19:49

Quote: Madame Bitters

Geneva:

Texas Flood by the late, great Stevie Ray Vaughn.

My Uncle played in a band with his older bro Jimmy (Fabulous Thunderbirds) in the 70s. Said Stevie Ray was a pest.

SRV had a terrible drug problem and after he'd been clean and sober for a few years he dies in a helicopter crash.

That's a bitch.

Hi, Madame -

How neat! Who is your uncle? Knew few of the Texas boys from their pre-record-contract days.

Yes, they even used to call him "Stinky Ray." The little brother so often has it kinda difficult. Jimmy Lee was formidable (still is)! Did you happen to catch the "Austin City Limits" with him, Omar Dykes, LuAnn Barton and others, in tribute to Jimmy Reed? Kicked ASS!

I agree - the tragedy of SRV's death at 35 was that he was only truly-realized for the final 4. Sober and influential. But at any age, man, that sumbitch could PLAY. I really miss him.

Best to you in Twenty-Ten, Madame!

To all Spoofers, actually!

- G. Slim
(still really blocked, but tryin'!)


I'M OUT, BABY, I'M OUT!

 
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