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Bureau
This user is offline Snippet Zoner
Bureau

Registered: 6 Sep 08

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Posted: 16 Oct 09 20:26
For my friends on TheSpoof, I have decided to leave the site.

I didn't want to simply disappear but you may have noticed the slumping snippets, etc.

It is only for personal reasons. You guys have been great to me & so has Mark.

Had 2 events lately that have led me to make some decisions. One is a trip to the mountains & away from the gadgets. The second one is losing a friend. 4 0f us guys grew up together & you know how close you can get as kids, teens, chums, etc. With his passing, I am the only one left.

I've learned a lot about writing while on here thanks to people like Abel, J-man, Skoob, & the rest.

But need a good long "think" about where to go & what to do from here.

This was fun. Thanks.

-Bureau





Sometimes the light's all shinin' on me;
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me, What a long, strange trip it's been.
Madame Bitters
This user is offline Sweeter than sugar
Madame Bitters

Location: The heartland of America
Registered: 20 Nov 08

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Posted: 16 Oct 09 20:36
I'm so sorry for your loss, Bureau. We'll all miss you and your humor.

Everyone needs a break and I hope we'll see you again after you get through this rough patch.

Take care.

PS: your snippets seemed just as good to me as they always did. I mean that as a compliment-- not that your snippets were always shitty.

Keep the candy, leave the booze
Morse
This user is offline -- --- .-. ... .
Morse

Location: South Carolina, usa
Registered: 20 Jul 08

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Posted: 16 Oct 09 20:37
Bureau!

We all have to come to grips with our own mortality...time off, even if forever, is not necessarily a bad thing. In VN we all had a short timer's calendar and crossed off the days and months...today, I suppose we could list our friends and acquaintainces, putting a modest check next to their name as they each move on to another place....one, by one.

As we all move on, to one place or another, some trips are more final than others.....despite the void on the site....there will always be a reminder left behind that there will never be another BUREAU!

AND THAT'S THE SNIPPET FOR THE DAY

Thanks for the chuckles, and the effort you put into each word, story, and thought provoking remembrance.

Morse



Whether you're rich or you're poor, it always pays to have money!
Jalapenoman
This user is offline Spicy Hombre
Jalapenoman

Location: Las Cruces, NM
Registered: 1 Jun 05

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Posted: 16 Oct 09 20:40
Bureau,

From time to time, we all need to get away from it and take a vacation from writing. I've done it several myself a few times.

This site is, however, both addictive and cathartic. It will pull you back some day.

When that happens, you will again be greeted as a friend and comrade.

Take care of yourself and get the perspective that you want and need. Remember, however, that all of us have lost someone important and have ears that will listen and hearts that are open.

Good luck.

Being raised by an Italian mother on the Mexican border made me realize that entrees are not edible without jalapenos, onions, green chilis, or garlic. Hence, I am the J-man.
Bargis Tryhol
This user is offline The Tripod


Location: way down south
Registered: 5 Oct 09

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Posted: 16 Oct 09 20:40
Hate to see you go Bureau. You've inspired us all.

Bargis Tryhol

If my mother knew I wrote spoofs, she'd kill me. She thinks I'm selling dope.
Colonel Juan
This user is offline El quien ose, sátirisa
Colonel Juan

Location: C/O Juanita Juan
Registered: 24 Aug 09

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Posted: 16 Oct 09 20:58


Dear Bureau

I've only been here five minutes but already I know you as a gentleman, a wit and a scholar.

But it's your kindness I'll miss most -

You take care now...

sincerely

Juan

RIP
Philbert of Macadamia
This user is offline Historical nutcase
Philbert of Macadamia

Location: Pizmo Beach, Pennsyltucky
Registered: 20 May 08

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Posted: 16 Oct 09 21:01
Bureau:

All the best to you. Hope to see you back here soon.

Philbert


There is intelligent life in outer space!
Then why do the UFO's not land on the Earth?
As I said, there is intelligent life in outer space!
Pimpmycapitalist
This user is offline Banned


Registered: 27 Jul 09

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Posted: 16 Oct 09 21:04
I have not been here very long, but i have read some of your stuff, etc.

Maybe you will come back, one day.

Have a good un, in what ever you do.

Regards

PMC

queen mudder
This user is offline Spoof Queen
queen mudder

Location: london and nyc
Registered: 26 May 04

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Posted: 16 Oct 09 21:20
Bombshell Day.

So very sorry to hear your sad news, Bureau.

You will be missed.

All the best.

Are you taking your Spoofs with you?

QM

Gravity is a myth, the earth sux?
Skoob1999
This user is offline Caretaker
Skoob1999

Location: Out on a limb
Registered: 5 Sep 08

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Posted: 16 Oct 09 21:31
Bureau,

You do whatever you feel is right, and God bless you.

I won't make this a 'Goodbye' - I hate goodbyes. As our buddy Abel says: Let's make it 'Hasta Later.'

Your contribution here has been truly outstanding, and judging from the messages in this thread, a lot of your fellow writers think so too.

Come back when you're ready mate. Personal loss is always tough, but life does go on, and the light that is Bureau is way too bright to hide under a bushel.

Please accept my humble commiserations.

Skoob.

RIP
queen mudder
This user is offline Spoof Queen
queen mudder

Location: london and nyc
Registered: 26 May 04

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Posted: 16 Oct 09 21:41 - Edited By: queen mudder, 16 Oct 09 21:43
SPOOF HALL OF FAME


Writers Profile
Bureau
Screen Name: Bureau

Bureau has published 13687 items on TheSpoof

* 982 Spoof News Stories
* 109 Spoof Magazine Articles
* 10364 Spoof Snippets
* 1917 Jokes
* 315 Fake Celebrity Diaries





Kudos!


Er, Re: 1917 Jokes. Wasn't that the year before the end of The War
?

Gravity is a myth, the earth sux?
Morse
This user is offline -- --- .-. ... .
Morse

Location: South Carolina, usa
Registered: 20 Jul 08

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Posted: 16 Oct 09 21:49

Quote: queen mudder

SPOOF HALL OF FAME


Writers Profile
Bureau
Screen Name: Bureau

Bureau has published 13687 items on TheSpoof

* 982 Spoof News Stories
* 109 Spoof Magazine Articles
* 10364 Spoof Snippets
* 1917 Jokes
* 315 Fake Celebrity Diaries





Kudos!


Er, Re: 1917 Jokes. Wasn't that the year before the end of The War
?



The Arch Duke Franz Ferdinand.....the joke that took 4 years to tell....1914-1918.....

Great Idea QM on posting Bureau's Accomplishments....AWESOME!



Whether you're rich or you're poor, it always pays to have money!
victor nicholas
This user is offline Doc
victor nicholas

Location: Suwanee River
Registered: 20 Apr 08

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Posted: 16 Oct 09 22:04

Quote: queen mudder

SPOOF HALL OF FAME


Writers Profile
Bureau
Screen Name: Bureau

Bureau has published 13687 items on TheSpoof

* 982 Spoof News Stories
* 109 Spoof Magazine Articles
* 10364 Spoof Snippets
* 1917 Jokes
* 315 Fake Celebrity Diaries





Kudos!


Er, Re: 1917 Jokes. Wasn't that the year before the end of The War
?


Bureau

All the best.

A classy message from a classy writer.

(I mean you!)

Victor

"Vottznewpuzzykatt?"
Gail Farrelly
This user is offline Spoof Chick


Location: NY, USA
Registered: 25 Apr 06

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Posted: 16 Oct 09 22:46
Bureau,

Enjoy your time off, but please come back. You have a lot of friends here. We'll miss you.

Abel Rodriguez
This user is offline Ready and Abel
Abel Rodriguez

Location: USA
Registered: 7 Jul 04

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Posted: 16 Oct 09 23:08
My good friend Bureau,

I just want to say that I have always had nothing but the utmost respect, not only for your awesome writing ability and talent, but for the person that you are and the professional way in which you have always conducted yourself.

You are truly a "First Class Act" whom I greatly admire.

Please take care and know that you have a lifelong friend in Abel Rodriguez.

I will miss reading the creative work of the man that is the undisputed "King of The Snippets."

God Bless You Amigo.

Hasta Later...
Abel






Bureau
This user is offline Snippet Zoner
Bureau

Registered: 6 Sep 08

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Posted: 17 Oct 09 12:49 - Edited By: Bureau, 17 Oct 09 12:49
Wow! What a send off! To think I didn't know any of you guys just over a year ago.

Thanks QM for posting the list. Didn't know there was a Hall Of Fame.

J-man I intend to keep reading (and voting) but probably won't write again. Read discussions to see how everyone's doing.

Morse, I do remember the term "short-timer" from the military and was glad to finally be one & getting out, to be honest.

TheSpoof is the best humor site because of all the fresh material. There is so much talent here. Where else can any new person start out & get published?

The recent trip to the mountains was like stepping out of time for awhile. Everything seemed to slow down & I really enjoyed it. Stayed in a redone barn a couple of nights. No heat the first night & second, got heat going and all the wasps came out. But that didn't seem to matter so much. Did a lot of thinking. Recommend it.

I appreciate all those letters on here. You gave me a nice welcome when I came on and a great send-off!

Thanks,
-Bureau

Sometimes the light's all shinin' on me;
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me, What a long, strange trip it's been.
Morse
This user is offline -- --- .-. ... .
Morse

Location: South Carolina, usa
Registered: 20 Jul 08

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Posted: 17 Oct 09 21:02


Bureau: now you made me think too. After the worst game of golf in 4 years(since i took it up again) I have decided to take a time out too (from golf), I decided I will go out to the garage, put my dick on the work top and just hit it with a 22 0z framing hammer....and be done with it!

You're my inspiration!!!!!

Thanks,

Morse

Whether you're rich or you're poor, it always pays to have money!
queen mudder
This user is offline Spoof Queen
queen mudder

Location: london and nyc
Registered: 26 May 04

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Posted: 17 Oct 09 23:35
Gravity is a myth, the earth sux?
Morse
This user is offline -- --- .-. ... .
Morse

Location: South Carolina, usa
Registered: 20 Jul 08

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Posted: 18 Oct 09 00:14


The Nobel Spoof Prize for Literature


"it shoulda' been BUREAU!"

great job, QM!!

Morse

Whether you're rich or you're poor, it always pays to have money!
NickFun
This user is offline Bootylicious
NickFun

Location: Location: Location!
Registered: 26 Jan 06

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Posted: 18 Oct 09 02:02
I hope we'll see you back soon Bureau! The snippets will be lousy from here on.

Signature lines are for psychos.
Aspartame Boy
This user is offline Kisses like wine
Aspartame Boy

Location: in your tea
Registered: 15 Oct 08

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Posted: 18 Oct 09 07:27
I just got back from Flagstaff and the mountain there at 11,500 feet where I took a crap in the highest toilette in Arizona.

What could possibly be left for me in this world now?

I think I will go back to Alpha Centauri.


Quote: Bureau

For my friends on TheSpoof, I have decided to leave the site.

I didn't want to simply disappear but you may have noticed the slumping snippets, etc.

It is only for personal reasons. You guys have been great to me & so has Mark.

Had 2 events lately that have led me to make some decisions. One is a trip to the mountains & away from the gadgets. The second one is losing a friend. 4 0f us guys grew up together & you know how close you can get as kids, teens, chums, etc. With his passing, I am the only one left.

I've learned a lot about writing while on here thanks to people like Abel, J-man, Skoob, & the rest.

But need a good long "think" about where to go & what to do from here.

This was fun. Thanks.

-Bureau


Life cycle of aspartame:
man makes aspartame;man eats aspartame
man dies;man sees that aspartame makes good softkill weapon
man makes more aspartame; population still too high.. repeat
Jaggedone
This user is offline Warning: Sharp edges
Jaggedone

Location: Back under the bridge!
Registered: 8 Apr 09

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Posted: 18 Oct 09 09:59
Bureau, a class act, anybody who can real off snippets like you is genial!

Sad to hear of your loss, great friends can never be replaced!

I'm sure this site will enter a void after your departure, what with Earl Grey and Smurfette, etc, leaving, times are getting thin here!

Wish you all the best, enjoy your break and I'm sure we'll all welcome you back, it's a drug here!

Jaggedone



Monkey nutter...
Mark
This user is offline Spoofer-in-Chief
Mark

Location: Lancaster, England
Registered: 8 Apr 03

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Posted: 18 Oct 09 16:00 - Edited By: Mark Lowton, 18 Oct 09 16:01
All the best Bureau!

You will, of course, be sadly missed.

Spoofing all over the world
Morse
This user is offline -- --- .-. ... .
Morse

Location: South Carolina, usa
Registered: 20 Jul 08

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Posted: 20 Oct 09 00:14


and just one more for Bureau!

Antiques Road Show Uncovers Antique Bureau Worth 3.5M Spoof Points!

Written by Morse 10/20/09

Whether you're rich or you're poor, it always pays to have money!

 
Any opinions expressed here are purely the opinions of the contributors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Spoof, its staff or the original writer of the spoof news/parody/satire story.

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