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Mark
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Mark

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Posted: 14 Oct 09 15:43
I bought a jar of Vegemite the other day. My jar of Marmite was running low and I figured it was time to get some more. Vegemite was on offer and I figured: "It's the same black gunk, right?" - but I was wrong.

When you first take off the lid, the contents looks pretty sleek and sexy. It doesn't look as liquidy as Marmite, and it has a more solid, almost soft putty-like consistency.

The first taste is quite pleasant and very reminiscent of Marmite, but perhaps not quite as rich. Maybe that's because it doesn't spread across your palate as quickly. All's fine until you get a hit of a very sharp, bitter, and rancid after-taste a few seconds later.

It's grim. Real grim.

I compared it to some of my final dregs of Marmite and I was astounded at the difference. Marmite has a much saltier flavour, and it leaves beefy after tones.

It might improve on toast, I was just tasting it from a spoon, so we'll see, next time I can afford a loaf of bread.

Speaking of improving on toast, Gentleman's Relish, for example, is disgusting alone, but spread thinly (and I really mean thinly) on toast, it's okay. Smells like a cat's breath, but tastes okay.

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queen mudder
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queen mudder

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Posted: 14 Oct 09 15:51
Vegemite: same color, consistency and probable side-effects as earwax.

HAD yours syringed recently?

I did.

Horrible.

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Monkey Woods
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Monkey Woods

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Posted: 14 Oct 09 15:55
I think you'll find, if I'm not wrong, Mark, that Marmite and Vegemite are two different products, made from different shit. I think you have been led 'up the garden path' by the use of 'mite' at the end of the words.

Just like 'Chocolate' and 'Disconsolate'; similarities in 'end-of-word' spelling only.

Vegemite is Yeast Extract, whereas Marmite is made from Beef Extract, I think. My kids love Vegemite, but can't stand Marmite. I used to hate Vegemite, but after I had to lick the knife one time before using it to spread Marmalade on my toast, I found it wasn't all that bad.

By the way, to avoid any further confusion, Marmite and Marmalade begin with the same four letters, but taste entirely different.

That's before you get fooled again...

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Mark
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Mark

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Posted: 14 Oct 09 16:13
Nah, they're both yeast extract.

I think you're getting confused with Bovril. That's the beef gunk. I've never tried it, sure it's better than this vegetarian guff.

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Roy Turse
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Roy Turse

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Posted: 14 Oct 09 16:23
Want to know about Marmite? Then you'll need 'The Mish-mash Dictionary of Marmite: An Anecdotal A-Z of Tar-in-a-jar' book that comes out tomorrow!

And incidentally, it includes (so I'm told) my story from The Spoof about Marmite being used at Guantanamo Bay.

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Morse
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Morse

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Posted: 14 Oct 09 16:25
MW: regardless, they both make your fanny smell awful......allegedly...

See Man from Dudley....

what's wrong with Peanut Butter....you could become President and even win the Nobel......

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queen mudder
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queen mudder

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Posted: 14 Oct 09 16:30

Quote: Morse
what's wrong with Peanut Butter?....



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Skunk competition

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Monkey Woods
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Posted: 14 Oct 09 16:37

Quote: Mark Lowton

Nah, they're both yeast extract.

I think you're getting confused with Bovril. That's the beef gunk. I've never tried it, sure it's better than this vegetarian guff.


Shit, yes, you're right. And I took so long typing my incorrect response. I hate it when that happens. I could, of course, go back and edit my reply, and make people wonder what the fuck you're on about, Mark, but that wouldn't be fair.

Yes, Bovril. It doesn't end in 'mite' or begin with 'Marm'. I'm up shit creek without a paddle.

Do you ever wonder how Marmite, Vegemite or Bovril first came into being? I mean, who sat there for hours pondering the ingredients and came up with any of these three?



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Mark
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Mark

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Posted: 14 Oct 09 17:46
I know how Worcester Sauce came to being: some chap, either Mr Lee, or Mr Perrins, was trying to pickle anchovies, but they ended up fermenting - yum!

Or at least, I seem to remember hearing that once. It could be bullfluff.

Vegemite on cheese works. Just tried that.

Got some bread on the go now so I can try it on toast later.

WRT how yeast extract came into being, I believe it's a by-product of the fermentation process in brewing. I can well imagine some bloke being egged on by his mates to dip his finger in it and eat it, and hey-presto, he loves it, so they bottle it and make a mint.

Bread, on the other hand, is a bigger mystery. Who thought, "I know, I'll crush some of this grasssy stuff up a bit, mix it with a bit of water, put in some mould, and stick it in an oven?"

I don't think it was Mr Warburton.

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birbee
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birbee

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Posted: 14 Oct 09 21:58
Mark,

You're right about Gentlemen's Relish.
It stinks, but is nice on toast!

Also, try a supermarket's brand of Yeast extract, cheaper but with all the salty taste.

Worcestershire Sauce is similar in one way, it's salty as it is made with Anchovies (like Gentleman's Relish) but how do they make Henderson's Relish, which I have only seen in Yorkshire but tastes very much like Worcestershire Sauce but is claimed to be vegetarian.

Perhaps they use Henderson's Relish to make vegetarian Bovril.........



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Madame Bitters
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Madame Bitters

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Posted: 14 Oct 09 22:41 - Edited By: Madame Bitters, 14 Oct 09 22:43
They don't sell that shit in the States. Not FDA approved, so having it or selling it is technically illegal.

I've often wondered how Carrot Cake came about. Carrots+cake= yum

who'd of thunk it?

Keep the candy, leave the booze
Jalapenoman
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Jalapenoman

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Posted: 15 Oct 09 01:51
MB: Carrot cake with cream cheese frosting and either pecans or walnuts on top...almost the perfect food.

You English fellers: how about I take some local wood eating critters and mash 'em up and let you eat that on your toast? You can call it "termite" and it would probably taste just as good as your stuff.

Being raised by an Italian mother on the Mexican border made me realize that entrees are not edible without jalapenos, onions, green chilis, or garlic. Hence, I am the J-man.
victor nicholas
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victor nicholas

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Posted: 15 Oct 09 03:50

Quote: Jalapenoman

MB: Carrot cake with cream cheese frosting and either pecans or walnuts on top...almost the perfect food.

You English fellers: how about I take some local wood eating critters and mash 'em up and let you eat that on your toast? You can call it "termite" and it would probably taste just as good as your stuff.


Good point J-man.

Back to Morse's point, careful how you use "fanny",

Brits and Americans differ on this a whole lot.

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Jaggedone
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Jaggedone

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Posted: 15 Oct 09 15:27

Back to Morse's point, careful how you use "fanny",

Brits and Americans differ on this a whole lot.


Fanny Craddock (google it VC!) or real pubed fannies?

Monkey nutter...
Roy Turse
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Roy Turse

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Posted: 15 Oct 09 15:39

Quote: Jalapenoman
You English fellers: how about I take some local wood eating critters and mash 'em up and let you eat that on your toast? You can call it "termite" and it would probably taste just as good as your stuff.


You mean like this?
Nice one J-Man.

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Mark
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Mark

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Posted: 15 Oct 09 16:36
You should change it to Beast Extract.

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Aspartame Boy
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Aspartame Boy

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Posted: 16 Oct 09 04:31
My daughter was doing a show and tell about vegimite at school. She INSISTED that I buy not ONE, but TWO jars of it.

Needless to say, I ended up calling the Chandler hazardous household waste disposal unit. I have an appointment with them in two weeks, when they will test it.

You can't just put that stuff in the trash.. and you don't want to flush it down the toilet, since it might cause a flair up on the neighbors arses, seeing how all the plumbing in town is connected.


Quote: Mark Lowton

I bought a jar of Vegemite the other day. My jar of Marmite was running low and I figured it was time to get some more. Vegemite was on offer and I figured: "It's the same black gunk, right?" - but I was wrong.

When you first take off the lid, the contents looks pretty sleek and sexy. It doesn't look as liquidy as Marmite, and it has a more solid, almost soft putty-like consistency.

The first taste is quite pleasant and very reminiscent of Marmite, but perhaps not quite as rich. Maybe that's because it doesn't spread across your palate as quickly. All's fine until you get a hit of a very sharp, bitter, and rancid after-taste a few seconds later.

It's grim. Real grim.

I compared it to some of my final dregs of Marmite and I was astounded at the difference. Marmite has a much saltier flavour, and it leaves beefy after tones.

It might improve on toast, I was just tasting it from a spoon, so we'll see, next time I can afford a loaf of bread.

Speaking of improving on toast, Gentleman's Relish, for example, is disgusting alone, but spread thinly (and I really mean thinly) on toast, it's okay. Smells like a cat's breath, but tastes okay.


Life cycle of aspartame:
man makes aspartame;man eats aspartame
man dies;man sees that aspartame makes good softkill weapon
man makes more aspartame; population still too high.. repeat
Aspartame Boy
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Aspartame Boy

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Posted: 16 Oct 09 04:33 - Edited By: Aspartame Boy, 16 Oct 09 04:35
You go around, allegedly, smelling fannies?


Quote: Morse

MW: regardless, they both make your fanny smell awful......allegedly...



Nutz Across the Pond


SO that explains the rash of fanny zits around here..

Life cycle of aspartame:
man makes aspartame;man eats aspartame
man dies;man sees that aspartame makes good softkill weapon
man makes more aspartame; population still too high.. repeat
Madame Bitters
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Madame Bitters

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Posted: 16 Oct 09 14:35
I have an Aunt Fanny. That's her actual name, it's not short for anything.

She's probably around 85 now, if she's still alive. I hope she is, because we spoke on the phone yesterday.

Keep the candy, leave the booze
Aspartame Boy
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Aspartame Boy

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Posted: 18 Oct 09 07:33 - Edited By: Aspartame Boy, 18 Oct 09 21:07
Wow, an 85 year old fanny. I think she needs a new name.
That reminds me, my grandmother almost sat on me when I was visiting her house and sitting on the toilette. Her fanny seemed to be remarkably preserved!

Still, that's why I opted for a species change. Today, they probably would have arrested grandma for sexual abuse of a minor.


Quote: Madame Bitters

I have an Aunt Fanny. That's her actual name, it's not short for anything.

She's probably around 85 now, if she's still alive. I hope she is, because we spoke on the phone yesterday.


Life cycle of aspartame:
man makes aspartame;man eats aspartame
man dies;man sees that aspartame makes good softkill weapon
man makes more aspartame; population still too high.. repeat

 
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