Discussion Forum

I'm forever coming up with the latest way Apple try and screw people out of money whilst trying to appear to be the good guy. I hate the hypocritical 'style driven' company.

The iToaster, the iCar, the copyright issues delaying the launch of iTV. The iBrow, the iOpener, the iLid...

Perhaps I need one called the iDontGiveAShitHowGoodItLooks

I like the idea of Little Known Apple Apps (Applelets?)

Here's 5 off the top of my head:

1. Hairstyle....take a self portrait pic, and try out these hairstyles. Only 69pence a hairstyle.
2. WTF Is That....take a picture of anything and this app will tell you what it is with 13% accuracy. 50p a time.
3. Tortoise Breeding - monitor your beshelled pet's lovemaking for £1 an hour.
4. Learn How to Breathe - we'll send you an alert to remind you for a mere 10p a day
5. Chatterbox - actually use your iPhone to talk to somebody LIVE! All you need to know is their 'number' and you can speak to them RIGHT NOW! Wherever they are in the world! [36p a minute].

Iain

P.S. I may have to write that one now....Curses...damn you and your brilliant ideas!

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Quote: BuckwheatsButt

apology accepted!

Buck

PS...Please remove that damn gerbil from my ass!

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I thought it was a zuchinni.

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Quote: IainB


"... Chatterbox - actually use your iPhone to talk to somebody LIVE! All you need to know is their 'number' and you can speak to them RIGHT NOW! Wherever they are in the world! [36p a minute]."


YES!! You should do this one. Great stuff! You might even provide a public service with this story by reminding some of our readers who've actually forgotten that they can use their phone to make phone calls, too.

The last time I experienced such an ego bashing was when the Police seperated with a Sting (sorry about that one).

And I thought we was all here for a bit of fun, or are there really bucks to be won?

Please inform me how in my Private Messages box, between you and me only, naturally!

I remember once that the subject of plagiarism was in question on this site and to make a point, Duncan Whitehead wrote a story about Sir Alex Ferguson falling over during a football match. He then sent me a copy and also Fergus McCarthy and we were all supposed to submit the same story on the same night. However, what we really did was write the same story in our own words and compare the number of hits.

Although it was the same story, it contained all the same ingredients. I don't think Mark noticed and they were certainly published. The result was hilarious!

Sir Alex shaken, not stirred

~IS~

~IS~

Just 5*ed that one.

To JO

I think everything's sorted now.

I'm having fun here.

Now then...where did I put the Prozac...

Skoob

Prozac rallies oily zambians and californians.

OOps wrong thread. sorry.

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Quote: amosmoran3000

Prozac rallies oily zambians and californians.

OOps wrong thread. sorry.

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But it is so true.

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Quote: The San Francisco Onion
YES!! You should do this one. Great stuff! You might even provide a public service with this story by reminding some of our readers who've actually forgotten that they can use their phone to make phone calls, too.

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Applelets story

Here's the story...with a rather unique accreditation I think.

Welcome back, IainB. Love the reference. Don't forget to leave the obligatory 5 star rating on one of my stories.Thank you for your business.Next.

Do what I do and just write silly spoof stories that don't include celebrities - my recent story about the banning of hats made me laugh so hard I nearly defecated myself.

No one else did one about hats.

I think Mark would agree, and the majority of writers on this site, that I am the funniest writer here (I know Buck, Monkey, Ferg, QM and JMan do) as I held a secret poll in secret without their knowledge and they all voted for me.

My coffee spilled story is another original - how I giggled when I wrote it - totally crazy!!

We all have niches - my new niche is going to be just what pops into my head (hopefully not a bullet)...see? Original comedy! Now, if Chris Moyles dies I demand to be the first to write that his body has been donated as a bouncy castle!

Applelets story

5 stars

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Quote: Duncan Whitehead

Do what I do and just write silly spoof stories that don't include celebrities - my recent story about the banning of hats made me laugh so hard I nearly defecated myself.

No one else did one about hats.

I think Mark would agree, and the majority of writers on this site, that I am the funniest writer here (I know Buck, Monkey, Ferg, QM and JMan do) as I held a secret poll in secret without their knowledge and they all voted for me.

My coffee spilled story is another original - how I giggled when I wrote it - totally crazy!!

We all have niches - my new niche is going to be just what pops into my head (hopefully not a bullet)...see? Original comedy! Now, if Chris Moyles dies I demand to be the first to write that his body has been donated as a bouncy castle!

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Duncan,

I did one some while ago entitled: Hats Are The Next Big Thing, Say Hat Manufacturers.

As you say, it's just a mad idea that you run with.

I always liked your stories. The hat thing from me was a one off. Like the guy digging up the asparagus patch because he thought they were weeds, and the bald headed man getting attacked by the cat because he snored too loudly.

See something that gives you a good idea, spoof it!

Out of the last ten or twelve stories I've done, maybe two have more than a hundred views. But I don't care, because you should write about whatever you find funny. I'm trying to get away from this celebrity thing myself and attempt to do something a bit more creative.

Don't get me wrong here, I'm not in any way accusing you of stealing my story. Hats are just funny! You should see the women here at Ascot races. It's snobbery gone mad! With hats!

Not pandering for points here, but if you go back through what I've done on here, the vast majority of it is personal stories. Things that make me laugh. Most stories I've ever done have rarely had more than two or three hundred views.

I've done lots of celeb stories, but in all seriousness, I find things like cats, hats, bicycles, goldfish, tandem riding Siamese twins etc infinitely funnier than Michael Jackson stories. The celeb shit gets you ratings and gets you noticed, but it doesn't quite carry the same satisfaction as something your imagination conjured up.

I'm tired now and I have work in the morning.

All The Very Best Duncan

Skoob.

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Quote: Duncan Whitehead

Do what I do and just write silly spoof stories that don't include celebrities - my recent story about the banning of hats made me laugh so hard I nearly defecated myself.

No one else did one about hats.

I think Mark would agree, and the majority of writers on this site, that I am the funniest writer here (I know Buck, Monkey, Ferg, QM and JMan do) as I held a secret poll in secret without their knowledge and they all voted for me.

My coffee spilled story is another original - how I giggled when I wrote it - totally crazy!!

We all have niches - my new niche is going to be just what pops into my head (hopefully not a bullet)...see? Original comedy! Now, if Chris Moyles dies I demand to be the first to write that his body has been donated as a bouncy castle!

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I also think you are the funniest writer.

Mark should give you a plaque or fund a visible tatoo.

The celeb shit gets you ratings and gets you noticed, but it doesn't quite carry the same satisfaction as something your imagination conjured up.

Skoob



I understand where you're coming from, but "Michael Jackson Fakes Death, Goes Into Hiding" at its peak had me getting hits on more than 80% of my other stories, which is a primary motivator in my case.

It makes my day when even just a few people start reading the stuff I'm proudest of.

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Quote: The San Francisco Onion

The celeb shit gets you ratings and gets you noticed, but it doesn't quite carry the same satisfaction as something your imagination conjured up.

Skoob



I understand where you're coming from, but "Michael Jackson Fakes Death, Goes Into Hiding" at its peak had me getting hits on more than 80% of my other stories, which is a primary motivator in my case.

It makes my day when even just a few people start reading the stuff I'm proudest of.

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SFO

With me it's the Groundhog story. It rarely, if ever, gets less than 100 views per day. Sometimes it goes off the scale, even now, six months down the line.

I agree with the sentiments from writers which suggest that most of us prefer to add a personal touch. The crap draws attention to other stuff.

Regards

Skoob.

Sometimes, as with Mrs Slocombe's pussy, one of my stories gets a silly number of hits. But the stuff I'm proudest of is when I take a picture and write a story to fit with the picture-totally random. Hit and miss. But fun.

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Quote: BuckwheatsButt

apology accepted!

Buck

PS...Please remove that damn gerbil from my ass!

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Since I'm no longer "floundering in the ratings"... Okay, I guess. But I'm using gloves!!

And you better quit screwing around with Chamone and get down to some spoof writing: How's the weather down there at number 6, Mr. Butt?

Pssh!!


SFO