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Skoob1999
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Skoob1999

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Posted: 22 Feb 09 11:07
You can only post on this thread if you promise not to talk about anagrams.

Got it?

Very good.

Skoob

RIP
Morse
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Morse

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Posted: 22 Feb 09 11:29

Quote: Skoob1999

You can only post on this thread if you promise not to talk about anagrams.

Got it?

Very good.

Skoob


Skoob: How bout similes?

or some of your recipes for disaster

or thoughts while walking up hill after missing the bus

or why Ponzi schemes continue to work

or the govt. scheme to insure everyone has a cell phone...and uses them continuously

or why people continue to refuse to wear seat belts

or the anal compulsive practice of creating anagrams

or why minorities are now the majorities in the new age

or why it doesn't pay to work anymore......

Yours in ReMorse

Morse





Whether you're rich or you're poor, it always pays to have money!
Skoob1999
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Skoob1999

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Posted: 22 Feb 09 12:29
Morse.

My sentiments exactly.

Your cyber buddy

Skoob

RIP
Skoob1999
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Skoob1999

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Posted: 22 Feb 09 12:32
PS - I'll 5* all your stories if you promise to 5* all mine.
But don't let Mark know. He probably frowns on that sort of thing. Very unEnglish don't you know.

Just coming dear...

Got to go

Skoob

RIP
Morse
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Posted: 22 Feb 09 13:01

Quote: Skoob1999

PS - I'll 5* all your stories if you promise to 5* all mine.
But don't let Mark know. He probably frowns on that sort of thing. Very unEnglish don't you know.

Just coming dear...

Got to go

Skoob


Skoob: I think High Fives are a universal type of thing now, even though they originated in Kenya on the Basketball court....and then there's always THE ONE pointer who didn't get the message....

Whether you're rich or you're poor, it always pays to have money!
Skoob1999
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Skoob1999

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Posted: 22 Feb 09 13:04
Morse

I'm a hot favourite with the one pointer and the no pointer.

I must be doing something right.

Regards

Skoob

RIP
Morse
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Morse

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Posted: 22 Feb 09 13:43

Quote: Skoob1999

Morse

I'm a hot favourite with the one pointer and the no pointer.

I must be doing something right.

Regards

Skoob


Skoob: could it be that are readers are too busy with their hands in their pockets that they can't interrupt themselves to vote?

P.S. I'm calling for a recount anyway...Mark refuses to count any of the absentee ballots ....

"Vote today, and vote often" Barry Obama, Nov. 4, 2008

Whether you're rich or you're poor, it always pays to have money!
Skoob1999
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Skoob1999

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Posted: 22 Feb 09 13:53
Morse

I just mentioned you in a news article I wrote.

It's called 'People Who Google World's Biggest Penis Not Necessarily Gay.'

It won't be on the site for a while yet because it has to go through the censors.

I was provoked into this pandering for points madness by you.

I also did some snippets. Again prompted by you.

I don't say anything bad about you in the article. Promise.

Kindest Regards

Skoob

RIP
Morse
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Morse

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Posted: 22 Feb 09 15:02
Thanks alot: as soon as this story hit I lost 10,234 points on my hard earned work because there was not one reference to a body part in any of my stories!

Bear and I are working to regain our points:

"Penis not only bone to pick" says veteran Therapy Dog!

"Paris Hilton's Vagina Not Just for Publicity Anymore!

"Lindsay Lohan Discovers Clitoris. But it's not HERS!

"Bend over, I think I love you, " says talking Gerbil to Barney Frank before tearing him a new arse hole!

"Man with largest Ball Sack charged extra for overweight bags at UK Airport!

"Shetland Isles New destination for Sexual Excursions and Just Horsing Around" says sheepish sodomite!

....got a few more, but saving them for Mag Section....

Doggedly yours,

Morse & Bear



Whether you're rich or you're poor, it always pays to have money!
BuckwheatsButt
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Posted: 22 Feb 09 15:29
5 stars from me!

Skoob1999
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Skoob1999

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Posted: 22 Feb 09 16:02
Buck,

That avatar is the Dunc's Donuts.

Love it.

You get a mention in the story too. Technical advisor or something like that.

Regards

Skoob

RIP
BuckwheatsButt
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Posted: 22 Feb 09 16:42

Quote: Skoob1999

Buck,

That avatar is the Dunc's Donuts.

Love it.

You get a mention in the story too. Technical advisor or something like that.

Regards

Skoob


How about official assistant Spoof editor?

Aspartame Boy
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Posted: 23 Feb 09 00:45

Quote: Skoob1999

Buck,

That avatar is the Dunc's Donuts.

Love it.

You get a mention in the story too. Technical advisor or something like that.

Regards

Skoob


The best donuts are made from potatoes and are called spudnuts.

Ever try them?

Life cycle of aspartame:
man makes aspartame;man eats aspartame
man dies;man sees that aspartame makes good softkill weapon
man makes more aspartame; population still too high.. repeat
Skoob1999
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Skoob1999

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Posted: 23 Feb 09 01:49 - Edited By: Skoob1999, 23 Feb 09 11:52
Oh **** off

Regards

Skoob

RIP
Aspartame Boy
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Aspartame Boy

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Posted: 23 Feb 09 01:51
perhaps you should stick to anagrams, after all.

Life cycle of aspartame:
man makes aspartame;man eats aspartame
man dies;man sees that aspartame makes good softkill weapon
man makes more aspartame; population still too high.. repeat
Madame Bitters
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Madame Bitters

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Posted: 23 Feb 09 05:25
Does anyone else think it's weird to see a family saying a prayer before they eat in public?

I know this is coming form left field, but it's not about anagrams and I'd genuinely like some opinions on this.

When I got off work tonight, I went to Taco Bueno for a snack. I went in, ordered, paid, got my food and sat down at a booth.

Besides me, there was a family of five there (mom, dad, 2 boys, 1 girl).

I guess they got there right before I did, because they hadn't unwrapped their food yet.

Instead they sat, joined hands and began to pray over their Mexican fast food bounty.

They prayed for what seemed like a really long time. I'm positive their tacos and nachos had gotten cold.

Does anyone think this is odd? Or am I just a jaded bitch?

I value your opinions on this.

Keep the candy, leave the booze
BuckwheatsButt
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Posted: 23 Feb 09 11:10
It conserves food...Holding hands prevents eating. I think they might have all belonged to Weight-Watchers or something

Skoob1999
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Posted: 23 Feb 09 11:55
Hey Aspartame Boy

Sorry if I was rude to you last night.

Didn't mean it.

I'm a nice guy really.

Kindest Regards

Skoob

RIP
Skoob1999
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Skoob1999

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Posted: 23 Feb 09 11:57

Quote: Madame Bitters

Does anyone else think it's weird to see a family saying a prayer before they eat in public?

I know this is coming form left field, but it's not about anagrams and I'd genuinely like some opinions on this.

When I got off work tonight, I went to Taco Bueno for a snack. I went in, ordered, paid, got my food and sat down at a booth.

Besides me, there was a family of five there (mom, dad, 2 boys, 1 girl).

I guess they got there right before I did, because they hadn't unwrapped their food yet.

Instead they sat, joined hands and began to pray over their Mexican fast food bounty.

They prayed for what seemed like a really long time. I'm positive their tacos and nachos had gotten cold.

Does anyone think this is odd? Or am I just a jaded bitch?

I value your opinions on this.


Madame Bitters,

Apologies for my bad manners, lack of etiquette, in my posting last night.

I Think You're Very Sweet.

Fondest Regards

Skoob.

RIP
Morse
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Morse

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Posted: 23 Feb 09 12:17

Quote: BuckwheatsButt

It conserves food...Holding hands prevents eating. I think they might have all belonged to Weight-Watchers or something


Sister Bitters!::We see alot of this in the South. Most of the time they are praying that the food is free from Salmonella, especially if they ordered Boiled Peanuts or deep fried chicken gizzards.

This practice is gradually starting to disappear during the "Economic Crisis", as the local miscreants have taken to hanging out at the local buffets and all you can eat chinese restaurants; when the group goes into prayer they swoop in , steal their purses, and then go out and lease a Lexus on the credit card.

Most of the golf pilgrims are starting to catch on, and are bringing their 3 wood into the restaurants, and there has been several cases of the thief being hacked to death by a golfer from Michigan or Asbury Park, NJ. Court cases have upheld the death as justified, as SC has a "right to carry" your club law, and as long as you shout "fore" before teeing off, you meet the provisions of "self defense" established in the state.

We have reported cases of attempted robberies taking place in elevators, or in the parking lots of Myrtle Beach Motels during broad daylight, as tourists take a brief moment to pray that they navigated I-95 Safely. In those cases, the robbers are usually just shot by a SC resident with a "carry" permit using a 9mm automatic pistol. Studies have found even trying to carry your "putter" in your pants becomes a "stretch".

Meanwhile, reports are surfacing that while the majority of the state's population is praying for the end of the "Economic Crisis", when they open their eyes, they find the Administration has made off with anything of value they had left....it is a tragic situation, and many people say they are being forced to turn to the devil. Concerted efforts to find him,however, have been unsuccessful as he seems to be on the run most of the time lately, although he is supposed to be back in Washington today for a brief "State of the Union" address before skipping off again.

Blessed be the One!

And God Bless You Madam Bitters!










Whether you're rich or you're poor, it always pays to have money!
Aspartame Boy
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Posted: 25 Feb 09 03:36

Quote: Skoob1999

Hey Aspartame Boy

Sorry if I was rude to you last night.

Didn't mean it.

I'm a nice guy really.

Kindest Regards

Skoob


Yes, you are nice. Unlike me who is nasty when feeling good, and nice when feeling rotten; you are nice when feeling good and nasty when feeling rotten. But, you are human; I am alien. So, it makes sense.

You are forgiven.

Life cycle of aspartame:
man makes aspartame;man eats aspartame
man dies;man sees that aspartame makes good softkill weapon
man makes more aspartame; population still too high.. repeat
Morse
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Posted: 25 Feb 09 22:11
AP: I thought bipolar disease/affliction couldn't survive in outer space...WTF!

Whether you're rich or you're poor, it always pays to have money!
Madame Bitters
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Madame Bitters

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Posted: 26 Feb 09 10:25 - Edited By: Madame Bitters, 26 Feb 09 10:26

Quote: Morse

AP: I thought bipolar disease/affliction couldn't survive in outer space...WTF!


Nope, that's just a rumor. My boss is still a resident of this planet.

If that were true my co-wokers and I would've summoned AB to come get his bat- shit crazy ass a long time ago.

Keep the candy, leave the booze
Morse
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Posted: 26 Feb 09 14:10

Quote: Madame Bitters


Quote: Morse

AP: I thought bipolar disease/affliction couldn't survive in outer space...WTF!


Nope, that's just a rumor. My boss is still a resident of this planet.

If that were true my co-wokers and I would've summoned AB to come get his bat- shit crazy ass a long time ago.


MB: I've often noted in my life experiences, that the people least capable of managing ANYTHING, let alone people, are thrust into the very position they are least capable of performing. Sometimes their foibles catch up to them, but it usually takes a long time, and in the meantime, the most capable people in their employ move on rather than deal with the BS. As you know, we call that the "peter principle", although Buck calls it the Penis Principle, writes a story, and get another 25,000 points!

Whether you're rich or you're poor, it always pays to have money!

 
Any opinions expressed here are purely the opinions of the contributors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Spoof, its staff or the original writer of the spoof news/parody/satire story.

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