This forum does not allow guest posting. You must register to participate in this forum.

Messages ordered by earliest posts first
All times are GMT

Forum Home / General Discussion / I'm sure one or two might like to try this


[This topic is LOCKED]

AuthorMessage
IN SEINE
This user is offline French Tickler
IN SEINE

Location: AREA 51, NORTH WESTERN REGION
Registered: 28 Jul 07

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
Posted: 9 Feb 09 19:52
There are one or two who may qualify - JB? Bucksheatbutt? Victor Nicholas?

Toilet Poets wanted

Any ideas?

~IS~

"Out of my mind. Back in five minutes!"
Morse
This user is offline -- --- .-. ... .
Morse

Location: South Carolina, usa
Registered: 20 Jul 08

 Forum Profile
Posted: 9 Feb 09 20:16

Quote: IN SEINE

There are one or two who may qualify - JB? Bucksheatbutt? Victor Nicholas?

Toilet Poets wanted

Any ideas?

~IS~


IS: I am sure this is one of Buck's from Paris Island that traveled to the Army where I saw it during Basic Training at Ft. Dix..I also saw it in VN...so it seems to travel well, and certainly would work in the Shetlands considering they were pawned by a King hundreds of years ago...

THOSE WHO WRITE UPON THESE WALLS
ROLL THEIR SHIT IN LITTLE BALLS

THOSE WHO READ THESE LINES OF WIT
EAT THOSE LITTLE BALL OF SHIT

I think this even predates Duncan Whitehead.

Whether you're rich or you're poor, it always pays to have money!
IN SEINE
This user is offline French Tickler
IN SEINE

Location: AREA 51, NORTH WESTERN REGION
Registered: 28 Jul 07

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
Posted: 9 Feb 09 21:00
Perhaps they're looking for clean, but humourous ditties; I can't think of any

The nearest I can get is one I read as a boy in toilets at Dawlish Warren in Devon in 1973.

It went:

It's no use jumping on the seat,
The crabs in here can jump six feet.

And if you think that that is high,
Then go next door, the Buggers fly!



At that age I thought crabs were just small sea creatures! Also bear in mind that Dawlish Warren is a seaside village.

I thought it was funny anyway.


~IS~


"Out of my mind. Back in five minutes!"
BuckwheatsButt
This user is offline Deleted


Registered: 24 Oct 07

 Forum Profile
 Email
Posted: 9 Feb 09 21:04 - Edited By: BuckwheatsButt, 9 Feb 09 21:10
'Here I sit...
So broken hearted...
Came to shit....
But only farted!'




BuckwheatsButt
This user is offline Deleted


Registered: 24 Oct 07

 Forum Profile
 Email
Posted: 9 Feb 09 21:12

IS: I am sure this is one of Buck's from Paris Island that traveled to the Army where I saw it during Basic Training at Ft. Dix..I also saw it in VN...so it seems to travel well, and certainly would work in the Shetlands considering they were pawned by a King hundreds of years ago...

THOSE WHO WRITE UPON THESE WALLS
ROLL THEIR SHIT IN LITTLE BALLS

THOSE WHO READ THESE LINES OF WIT
EAT THOSE LITTLE BALL OF SHIT

I think this even predates Duncan Whitehead.


Hey Morse......Was never a Marine. Don't know how that rumor started. Regular Army here! Also went to basic at the sand mire called Ft. Dix. Can close my eyes and almost imagine I'm hearing the roar of F-4's taking off from McGuire AFB in the wee hours directly over my barracks. The roar actually cracked window glass!

Morse
This user is offline -- --- .-. ... .
Morse

Location: South Carolina, usa
Registered: 20 Jul 08

 Forum Profile
Posted: 9 Feb 09 21:33
Hey Grunt! Was there in Aug. '65...if you beat me there maybe it REALLY WAS YOU that wrote that!

I still remember my first night in barracks, still in civies..could hear a pin drop, and down the row of bunks comes this Black Brother voice...."When is Bob Hope comin'"....I still laugh about it to this day!

Whether you're rich or you're poor, it always pays to have money!
BuckwheatsButt
This user is offline Deleted


Registered: 24 Oct 07

 Forum Profile
 Email
Posted: 9 Feb 09 22:55
Yeah, when I first arrived the reception center, at about 3AM one morning, they issued us a stupid OD baseball cap, wool gloves, an empty duffel bag, and an olive drab trench coat as our official 'US Army uniform'. That's all we wore over our civvies for almost a week all the while walking around carrying a stupid limp duffel bag! It seems our 'lifer' NCO (an E-4 with 28 years in service) was once again drunk and AWOL and never took charge of our platoon!!!

I still smile about that screwup!

Morse
This user is offline -- --- .-. ... .
Morse

Location: South Carolina, usa
Registered: 20 Jul 08

 Forum Profile
Posted: 9 Feb 09 23:19
Buck: I guess since the Brits can talk about their silly "football" we can talk a little about our fun times.
They put me in charge of the platoon since I had been to military school, and had two years of ROTC, plus I was the oldest having volunteered at 25.

Our DI was a cool guy, but was NEVER THERE! I wound up marching the guys all over that forsaken place. We actually had a great time...I taught them the Marines Marching Manual, and the Oblique move and we marched into the parade ground one day and showed the other 3 platoons some of our shit...the DI's stood there with their mouths open...our guys really got into it...what else can you do when you're in a bad situation but beat the bastards at their own game! Went from there to Ft. Holibird in Maryland for 15 weeks for Military Intelligence School (sic), then on to Portland,Or, and finally to the Presidio in SF before finishing up the 3 years in Cholon, RSVN.

We had another DI in the Company that tried to commit suicide over a woman and wound up shooting himself in the leg....not a guy you wanted in your foxhole!

Bet you can still remember you SN and rattle it off at will! My dog tags are hanging on my 8 pt. buck in the writing den...may have to start wearing them again to remind me of "the good times" as we proceed into the AGE OF DARKNESS!

Whether you're rich or you're poor, it always pays to have money!
Skoob1999
This user is offline Caretaker
Skoob1999

Location: Out on a limb
Registered: 5 Sep 08

 Forum Profile
 Writer's Profile
 Website
Posted: 9 Feb 09 23:40
Here's one from a Brit,

Some come here
To sit and think
I come here
To shit and stink

Best Regards

Skoob


RIP
Jalapenoman
This user is offline Spicy Hombre
Jalapenoman

Location: Las Cruces, NM
Registered: 1 Jun 05

 Forum Profile
Posted: 10 Feb 09 00:09
I went into a public toilet a few months ago and someone had written on the wall "Deport all whiteys."

Underneath that, I wrote "Then who will pay your welfare checks?"

I was there again a few days later, and someone had written under that "The Jews."

I was beaten to the punch by a guy who had written underneath "They're white too, asshole."

Being raised by an Italian mother on the Mexican border made me realize that entrees are not edible without jalapenos, onions, green chilis, or garlic. Hence, I am the J-man.
Morse
This user is offline -- --- .-. ... .
Morse

Location: South Carolina, usa
Registered: 20 Jul 08

 Forum Profile
Posted: 10 Feb 09 00:44
Jman: I think twice to the same shitter is enough...don't be tappin' your feet in there now!

PS: did you catch the latet Obamanation: Emanuel taking over the Census, and appointing Bill Richardson to run it, and they have a pile of $$ in the stimulus to pay for "the census"...guess where all those unemployed ACORN workers are going????? "Chicago, Chicago a wonderful town........"

Whether you're rich or you're poor, it always pays to have money!
BuckwheatsButt
This user is offline Deleted


Registered: 24 Oct 07

 Forum Profile
 Email
Posted: 10 Feb 09 10:27
Emanuel.......That guy is scary!


 
Any opinions expressed here are purely the opinions of the contributors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Spoof, its staff or the original writer of the spoof news/parody/satire story.

Go to top

Forum permissions

You are not logged in.

  • You cannot create new topics in this forum
  • You cannot post new messages in this forum
  • You cannot add polls
  • You cannot link to external images in this forum
  • You cannot upload images in this forum
  • You cannot upload files in this forum

Who is online?

There are no registered users currently online.


Profile Featured Writer

Nate John Won
Nate John Won
Joined: 28 September 2009
Stories Written: 10

Go to top