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Jesus Budda
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Jesus Budda

Location: theSpoof.com
Registered: 26 Aug 07

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Posted: 15 Apr 08 19:15
Hello,


My 'possible' son has gone missing. He goes by the name Henman. Recently he triumphantly returned to my family in a hail of glory after an absense of a number of months - the prodigal son had come home.
But since then he has dissappeared once again.
I am worried for his safety.
He cannot survive long in this cruel world.
Any sightings to be reported to myself or the relevant authorities.
And if you do catch the little bastard please beat him hard and chase him back in a northerly direction.

Also, have you seen Passion Vine House, Tiki Murphy and Shaun Ferguson? I'm not particularly bothered with Tiki - but the other too have been gone for so long I fear that they may be forever lost.

Thanking you kindly,

Jesus Moses Mohammed Shiva Zeus XXXXX Budda


A lot of people never show any initiative because no-one told them to
Jesus Budda
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Jesus Budda

Location: theSpoof.com
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Posted: 15 Apr 08 19:25
If he has been kidnapped then I must inform the kidnappers that I am unwilling to pay any ransom demand.
In such a situation, the kidnappers amy do what they please with him. I'm not bothered.

If he is kidnapped and the kidnappers decide to make a big spectacle out of it by informing TV stations and media of the kidnap, then I am willing to join in any TV debates or press oportunities provided I get a lot of money.

If the boy is meerely hiding or is trapped downa well, then I encourage him to stay hidden for a few more days until I can contact the media and set up a fund to aid in his rescue.

If he is in the same place as Passion Vine hous or Shaun Ferguson, then they should all keep very still adn quiet until I've created a mass media scramble for the story. Each will receive a fair share of the cash (.004% each).

If an alien has taken any of the above, then they should hide behind then moon until further instructions. Language difficulties will be worked out once I create a communication device.


JB

A lot of people never show any initiative because no-one told them to
Fergus McCarthy
This user is offline Devil's Avocado
Fergus McCarthy

Location: Hibernia.
Registered: 17 Jan 07

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Posted: 15 Apr 08 19:37 - Edited By: Fergus McCarthy, 15 Apr 08 19:56
JB could you also please keep an eye out for Candice Hitler and her personal body guard Jane.

I miss them.
Worked as a team those two.

Ferg

You want me as a moderator!
You need me as a moderator!!!
Jalapenoman
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Jalapenoman

Location: Las Cruces, NM
Registered: 1 Jun 05

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Posted: 15 Apr 08 21:05
JB,

I think Duncan was going to loan him that shirt of his. Henman was saying something about wanting to get lucky.

If it works, he may be busy for a while (and really, would you rather be doing that or Spoofing?).

Being raised by an Italian mother on the Mexican border made me realize that entrees are not edible without jalapenos, onions, green chilis, or garlic. Hence, I am the J-man.
Mister Meaner
This user is offline AKA Monkey Woods
Mister Meaner

Location: With Woods
Registered: 30 Aug 07

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Posted: 16 Apr 08 12:32
I haven't seen Noshing Mink for a while.

What we should all do (and I mean ALL) is send the missing people emails asking them what has happened to them.

Often, for various reasons, people become tired, worn-out and sometimes even disenchanted with how life is treating them. They can even feel like harming themselves, and, in extreme cases, can become suicidal. Sending them enquiring emails in this way would show them that people care about them, and would warm the cockles of their heart. Their inboxes would become blocked, and they might even return to the pages of the Spoof.

On the other hand, it might tip them over the edge.

Hands up those of you who think I'm Jesus Budda.

I won't be tempted by vile evils, because vile evils are vile evils
Jesus Budda
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Jesus Budda

Location: theSpoof.com
Registered: 26 Aug 07

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Posted: 16 Apr 08 18:16

Quote: Mister Meaner

Hands up those of you who think I'm Jesus Budda.


ME!!!!!!!

J-man, yes, you're robably right about Henman borrowing Duncan's shirt. He was muttering something about 'getting some hot pussy' the other day. I just thought he was burning the cat again.


I want Noshing Mink, Shaun Ferguson, Jean La Fete and all the many others who I can't remember the names of right now, to come back and grace this hallowed palce with their love and fun.



Mister Meaner

A lot of people never show any initiative because no-one told them to
Jesus Budda
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Jesus Budda

Location: theSpoof.com
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Posted: 16 Apr 08 18:47 - Edited By: Jesus Budda, 16 Apr 08 18:48
I meant theis 'hallowed place' not this 'hallowed palce'.
I don't know what a 'palce' is. Maybe it's dyslexic palace? Maybe.

I have constructed a 5-storey airship. It's not very well built and it's flimsy, but it is flyable and will get the job done ok.
I intend to traverse the Globe in my blimp (kindly sponsored by Johnson&Johnson Baby shower gel)and see if I can spot any of the above 'missing'.

The appearance of Shaun Ferguson in the 'Featured Writer' section today is a good sign. He's still alive.

If you see a giant airship flying over your house/cardboard box come out and wave at me. Please do not shoot. It is not bullet-proof and my wings are in the laundery.

Up, up and away,
my beautiful ballooon.
Up, up and away, my beautiful ablloon, dum-dum-di-dum-da-dum-dum-dum-da-dum-di-dum-di-da-di-doo....away!
Away!



JB

A lot of people never show any initiative because no-one told them to
Jesus Budda
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Jesus Budda

Location: theSpoof.com
Registered: 26 Aug 07

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Posted: 16 Apr 08 19:09
I've just spotted something.
Its...it's...it..it looks like....a spoof writer....
No, false alarm. A pig in a dress.

I've got a sneaking suspicion that Mark Lowton is holding all these writers hostage. Actually, not even hostage. He's just holding them for no reason. What a sneaky bastard.

I've deciphered the code which the "Featured Writers' thing must be. It obviously is Marks secret list of writers he intends to or has already snatched off the streets.
SOme are easy prey: little Shaun, a sweet innocent young lad with not a care in the world. Until Mark drives by in his battered station wagon. "Like a lick of my lolly, little boy", he'd say. "Come a little closer 'til I can lick your forehead".


Nick Fun should be worried - and Gordon Bennet especially.
Actually Nick should be ok. As long as he stays a few thousand miles away and out of the predators evil grasp.

Sneaky clever bastard using the website to lure innocent folk to his lair.

I've got my eye on you, boy! You cannot escape my airship.


JB


A lot of people never show any initiative because no-one told them to
Jesus Budda
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Jesus Budda

Location: theSpoof.com
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Posted: 16 Apr 08 19:27
Good Lord! The things you can see through bedroom windows.
Who would've thought Fergus McCarthy was into that? And while shaving?

I've never seen two pairs of those on a woman before. SHould have taken the camera.

Ahhh, that looks like Jane over there in the bushes. Still got the moves, baby! The most fun you can have with your finger in a dyke. Ah, Holland. Beautiful place. Never been. Except now in my balloon.

Is that a human?
No. A windmill.


JB

A lot of people never show any initiative because no-one told them to
carina-eta
This user is offline Ice Queen of the North
carina-eta

Location: back
Registered: 16 Feb 07

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Posted: 16 Apr 08 22:56
They were all probably the same person- thats why they all disappeared at the same time.

Or they all want to do a thread entitled "IM BACK !!"

Someone tried to make my life not worth living and NOW they're trying to kill me!
carina-eta
This user is offline Ice Queen of the North
carina-eta

Location: back
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Posted: 16 Apr 08 22:58
*sob* Shaun Fergusons the posthumous featured writer.

Someone tried to make my life not worth living and NOW they're trying to kill me!
Mister Meaner
This user is offline AKA Monkey Woods
Mister Meaner

Location: With Woods
Registered: 30 Aug 07

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Posted: 17 Apr 08 10:34
If I were a woman, I'd want to have Jesus Budda's children, but I'm not, so I don't.

I won't be tempted by vile evils, because vile evils are vile evils
carina-eta
This user is offline Ice Queen of the North
carina-eta

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Posted: 17 Apr 08 15:09
He can have his own children, have you seen the size of his belly?

Someone tried to make my life not worth living and NOW they're trying to kill me!
Jesus Budda
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Jesus Budda

Location: theSpoof.com
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Posted: 17 Apr 08 18:12

Quote: carina-eta

He can have his own children, have you seen the size of his belly?


You're one to talk!

I'll spare the world the pain and suffering of a 'Jesus Budda' child. A hideous, deformed creature with poor morals, an unpredictable nature but a suprisingly youthful face.

JB

A lot of people never show any initiative because no-one told them to
Jesus Budda
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Jesus Budda

Location: theSpoof.com
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Posted: 17 Apr 08 18:31
Latest Update:
Flying high above the bell-towers (I don't know what a bell-tower is, but I just wanted to write that)my keen eyes and incredibly accute sense of hearing detects the feint cry of a small human. As I decend closer to the ground it appears that it was a rather large man in a furry hat actually.

Onwards and upwards.

One thing has crossed my mind.
There it goes again. Must get that seen to.

All the writers taht have passed through this site - where do they go?
To get the full experience you need to enter the forums. But alot don't seem bothered. Maybe it's me thats putting them off?
Buck E Filbert rarely posts on the forums. Why?

I have a companion with me today. A mystery person who shall remain nameless. Oxygen levels are being shared. Doesn't really do too much. I do all the flying, the looking and all teh other stuff. Don't know why I bothered bringing them along. I'll wait until we're over the sea and push 'em out.

The last time I communicated with little Sahuny Ferguson was when that Marvin loon was on the site. He probably sent everyone this message:
"If you ask me, which no one did, Marvin (or Christianeschatologist as he now seems to call himself), is a psycho.

I truly think his sinister ramblings are best ignored. To respond is to encourage him.

Shaun xxx".

Just goes to show, doesn't it.
What, I'm not so sure.

JB


A lot of people never show any initiative because no-one told them to
Jesus Budda
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Jesus Budda

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Posted: 17 Apr 08 19:13 - Edited By: Jesus Budda, 17 Apr 08 19:16
I was arrested while flying over Iranian airspace. They confiscated my airship and gave me the choice to live in Iran or ride home on a Penny Farthing bicycle.
I chose the ride home.
But I will continue my search.
It's very French, isn't it? Riding a bicycle. I feel very pompous and garlic-y.
For such a snooty bucnh, the French are real pushovers. Not as bad as Italians. They are completly useless. And two-faced.
I talk with my hands too. Maybe I've got some Italian blood? Must check in the cupboards.
Those Asians that got the bird flu - they picked it up from drinking chicken blood. Can you image drinking chicken blood? Sick bastards. Then again they probably think I'm weird. But I don't drink chicken blood. Or any blood.
Not a chance.

Gonna stop by in Nigeria and see how Mrs Henman is keeping. havent seen her in 14 years. I wonder how she's doing? I wonder if she knows her son is missing? She wouldn't care. She never liked him that much anyway. Preferred shoes. She loved shoes. The Imelda Marcos of Nigeria they called her. Well that and a few other names.


JB

A lot of people never show any initiative because no-one told them to
Jesus Budda
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Jesus Budda

Location: theSpoof.com
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Posted: 18 Apr 08 19:27
I've a new lead.
It's for my dog.
But anyway, I believe that two young woman on this site have taken my boy Henman.
I have no solid evidence.
It's a hunch.
It involves witchcraft and cats and Harry Potter.
But I don't need 'real' evidence. I can plant some.

If Queen Mudder or any of the other lawyers on the site would assist me I believe that he could be back home in time for tea.


Don't worry, boy, you'll be back home soon. Stay strong and true. And don't pick your nose.


JB

A lot of people never show any initiative because no-one told them to
pop_princess200515
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pop_princess200515

Location: Mobile, AL
Registered: 11 Apr 08

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Posted: 21 Apr 08 14:15
My bologna has a first name...it's O S C A R!!
My bologna has a second name it's M E Y E R!!
I love to eat it every day and if you ask me why I'll
SAY!!!!!!!
Oscar Meyer has a way with B O L O G N A!!!!!!!!!




yeah, i rock my bologna....plus i can spell!!!

Midget laughs are my thing.
Jalapenoman
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Jalapenoman

Location: Las Cruces, NM
Registered: 1 Jun 05

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Posted: 21 Apr 08 15:21
Except that it's Oscar "Mayer." It has an "A."

That's a "D" in spelling for you.

Being raised by an Italian mother on the Mexican border made me realize that entrees are not edible without jalapenos, onions, green chilis, or garlic. Hence, I am the J-man.
justin_is_fit
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justin_is_fit

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Registered: 19 Mar 08

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Posted: 21 Apr 08 16:46
my story =]
to tell the true story of Sophie Jayne and Henman

I don't care about how many lips you have touched. Or how many hands you have held. I don't care about being your FIRST. I just want to be your LAST <3
pop_princess200515
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pop_princess200515

Location: Mobile, AL
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Posted: 21 Apr 08 18:14
nope i spelled it right that's the way the song goes....

it's a comercial....
you know like
F R E E that spells freecreditreport dot com baby?

the ingenious commercials of America!!!!!

if you don't like us we'll KILL YOU!!

Midget laughs are my thing.
Sophie Jayne
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Sophie Jayne

Location: Fallin out of love with Raders
Registered: 16 Mar 08

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Posted: 21 Apr 08 18:14
If you would like to contact the evil murdering rapist his email is

gargantor@hotmail.com

he killed your son etc

In theory I'm naked underneath.
Jalapenoman
This user is offline Spicy Hombre
Jalapenoman

Location: Las Cruces, NM
Registered: 1 Jun 05

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Posted: 21 Apr 08 18:20
Oscar Mayer lyrics

Sorry, but there's a link to a website with the lyrics.


Now, here's the Wikepedia story with lyrics:

Wikepedia on Oscar Mayer

Being raised by an Italian mother on the Mexican border made me realize that entrees are not edible without jalapenos, onions, green chilis, or garlic. Hence, I am the J-man.
Jesus Budda
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Jesus Budda

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Posted: 21 Apr 08 18:24
I'm so over the whole Henman thing.
I couldn't give a ****. And I eat a lot of fiber.

JB

A lot of people never show any initiative because no-one told them to
pop_princess200515
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pop_princess200515

Location: Mobile, AL
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Posted: 21 Apr 08 18:26

Quote: Jalapenoman

Oscar Mayer lyrics

Sorry, but there's a link to a website with the lyrics.


Now, here's the Wikepedia story with lyrics:

Wikepedia on Oscar Mayer




truthfully idc
but since i am a humble woman i can admitt i may have been wrong in my efforts to spell a brand of bologna but that's ok becuase years from now i can look back on this moment and say that i am not ashamed.



you atually corrected me on my spelling ....... cool

Midget laughs are my thing.

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