This is the new Spoof assignment board, which anyone can open up. It is for assigning excellent comedy tasks or giving inspirational ideas.
I AM LEAVING THIS FORUM FROZEN FOR FUTURE SPOOF WRITERS SPOOF ALERT!!!!
I found a site with the funniest names in the world for you to use on your stories. The names secretly say an odd name. If your reader is intelligent they will get caught by surprise and throw out a laugh. These are a few funny names without surprises: Goofy, Maynard, Dufus, Bluto, Goobert, Fanny, Titsy
Funny Name list:
Free electronic rhyming dictionary:
We need a story about Britney Spears being a lesbian because she can't find a boy friend during dry spells and becomes desperate for a man. She becomes an imitation man just to have a friend so she does not feel lonely at night in her bed. During dry spells she gets turned down by guys because they say she is not that beautiful anymore because of her age. Also most of those guys that turn her down are engaged to other women. Get the names of her lesbian lovers. You can title your article 'An interview with Sir Britney', millions of women around the world will laugh their heads off.
We need a story about musicians singing fake love songs to sell their imaginary love to people that are old, fat, ugly, and desperate. Show real cases of adoring fans being arrested for stalking. Express the truth that the police never consider the reality that the singer instructed the fans to behave in that manner, using alluring sexual advancements on their songs. If the police still don't understand, then show an example of a police officer that had sex with a woman who begged him for sex but later charged the police officer with a sexual crime. The subject of your news story is "If it is ok for the police to accept a lie from a singer its ok for the public to lie on their tax returns and all other things."
We need a story about Brittney Spears and Madonna kissing. During the kiss, one of them goes through an assault. We need to find out which one. I read a net report, which said that Britney was crying behind stage during the rehearsal because she did not want to kiss Madonna. A gay, black dancer for Madonna forced Brittney to perform the rehearsal using threats and intimidation. Find more about this incident and put it on your news report. The name of your article could be "Brittney Spears assaulted during kiss" or "Britney gets kissed after labeling Madonna an old Medusa" or "Brittney gets punished with a kiss for threatening Madonna with Alabama confederacy". Show how Madonna brought down the Queen of Pop with a kiss to regain her old crown back. Madonna realized an opportunity when she discovered Brittney was actually born in a trailer park, filled with confederate sympathizers, in Alabama. When Madonna saw Brittney trying to promote her Southern traits in a boisterous manner, she told herself "This is the time to strike at this unpopular bitch and get back my position in pop music." You can fill your story with satire and truth. You can also name your article "Brittney falls into a lesbian spider trap" These things are based on factual occurrences and will catch the interest of your reader.
We need a fake story about Jenny Shimizu having a lesbian affair with Brittney Spears. Collect data on Jenny Shimizu's old lesbian affairs with famous women and use her love making tactics with Brittney. You can call your story, " Jenny Shimizu world ambassador of Japanese women strikes out again" or "Jenny Shimizu the Japanese Mister Girl has affair with Britney" or "Jenny Shimizu gets passed around like an old pair of shoes"or "Jenny Shimizu the lesbian pawn is crying about another experience" or "Scientist classify lesbian Jenny Shimizu as non-human" or "Men reject Jenny Shimizu for copulation, forcing her to allow Brittney to submit" or "Brittney Spears farts in Jenny Shimizu's face" or "Jenny Shimizu couldn't find prom date making her turn lesbian" or "Blond boys never wanted Jenny Shimizu she turns Butch-Dike" or something mild like "Jenny Shimizu infamous Mister Girl becomes Brittney's private sex-slave" or "Jenny Shimizu lesbian dog licks her way to the top" or "Jenny Shimizu respects women's sons by turning herself into a lesbian dog" or "Jenny Shimizu fantasizes the world gave her a lesbian axle but she is the only one losing" or "Lesbian psychopath Jenny Shimizu respects women by licking like a dog" or "Butch-Dike Jenny Shimizu is compliant to female society" or "Butch-Dike Jenny Shimizu elevates her fears by licking foreign women" or "Jenny Shimizu unwanted by foreign society starts a licking campaign of the stars" or "Jenny Shimizu shows respect by grunting like a male hog" or "Jenny Shimizu goes to women's prison discovers a hornets nest" or "Lesbian dog Jenny Shimizu works her way into foreign society by licking her way around" or "Conniving Jenny Shimizu thinks she's gained the confidence of foreign women" or ""Japanese women accuse foreign women of desiring Jenny Shimizu's disgusting body" or "In London Lesbian Jenny Shimizu gets hit over the head with a shoe for looking at a man" or "Conniving Lesbian dog Jenny Shimizu accused of trying to molest an English boy" or "Jenny Shimizu accused of stalking Brittney Spears" or "Jenny Shimizu accused of stalking Brittney Spear's father". "Conniving Jenny Shimizu worms her way into foreign society by slurping vagina juices" or "Madonna punishes Jenny Shimizu with more booty call for what happened at Pearl Harbor" or "Madonna uses Jenny Shimizu as comfort woman sex-slave" or "Madonna punishes Tokyo Rose, Jenny Shimizu with more booty call" Here is some dirt on Jenny Shimizu:
In the 1990s, Shimizu spoke a line in the coming-out episode of Ellen starring Ellen DeGeneres.
Shimizu usually sports close-cropped hair. She has a tattoo of a woman straddling a crescent wrench on her arm. In 2005, Shimizu married Rebecca Loos for the Sky documentary Power Lesbian UK (broadcast as Power Lesbians on LOGO, which profiled successful lesbians in Los Angeles) and appeared on Tyra Banks' reality show America's Next Top Model.
In a 2005 poll by gay publication The Pink Paper, Shimizu was voted sexiest woman, beating out Angelina Jolie and Australian icon Kylie Minogue, in at second and third, respectively.
Shimizu has a supporting role in Jamie Babbit's 2007 film Itty Bitty Titty Committee.Relationships with Angelina Jolie and Madonna
British tabloid newspapers alleged in 2006 that Shimizu claimed to have an ongoing romantic and sexual relationship with Angelina Jolie (begun when they appeared together in the film Foxfire), as well as with mutual friend Madonna. She later denied making any claims regarding Jolie.
In January 2007, Shimizu described further the relationship she had with Madonna. Calling herself "Madonna's sex slave", she revealed that Madonna would fly her to destinations across the world for sexual liaisons, saying: "I was her secret 'booty call' available any time of the day or night for secret sex sessions....She's sensational in bed." She revealed this information while it was being reported that she was going to release a tell-all book with intimate details of her sexual affairs with Madonna and Jolie. Shimizu had allegedly also had sexual affairs with both celebrities at the same time.
We need a series of stories about human lesbians in its scientific accuracy. We need one writer to specialize in Lesbian Primatology as far as they can take their reading. Then they should specialize on writing lesbians stories where the science data melts into the news headline story. Assortments of female celebrities are available for these lesbian satire stories. You can pair up women like Jessica Moore and Teri Hatcher having a lesbian love affair in a Hilton Hotel room. Try to apply Primatology to celebrity culture to get an understanding of their human behavior. Use Jane Goodall's research method to study these primate celebrities. Here is research data:
Primatology is the study of primates. It is a diverse discipline and primatologists can be found in departments of biology, anthropology, psychology and many others. Physical anthropology is a branch of primatology, which is the primatology of the genus Homo, especially Homo sapiens. The fields cross over in the study of the hominids, which include all ape-like ancestors of man and the other great apes (for a list of common ancestors with other living species see The Ancestor's Tale).
Modern primatology is an extremely diverse science. It ranges from anatomical studies of primate ancestors and field studies of primates in their natural habitat, to experiments in animal psychology and ape language. It has cast an immense amount of light on basic human behaviors and ancient ancestry of these behaviors.
Try to get this book at your local library. It has vital data on lesbian behavior. Carefully take out scientific facts because prison femes like to cover up their sexual crimes by blaming the female victims in women's prison. Watch out for language where the victims are referred to as male seducers. Women do not want to be men and they do not seduce other women unless they are forced into it with the use of threats, male deprivation, fear or material necessity. They suffer irreparable psychological damage like Jenny Shimizu. Analyze the physiological games these women play on the lesbian victim. Remember that the lesbian is the victim and the female receiver is still straight. The one playing the male role is seen as the victim because the behavior is not part of her DNA programming and causes her mental pain. Use this data to analyze celebrity lesbian affairs to discover who is abusing whom. Do not stop lesbian behavior because we need them for more laboratory studies. For example in the case of Madonna, she tells Jenny Shimizu that she needs her for booty call. This is a lesbian physiological game, which also is played in prison. Like a spider that injects its prey with digestive liquids, Madonna's words penetrate the mind of the victim allowing victim to feel needed and creates social bonding, which is needed by the victim to assimilate to human society. When the actual sex occurs the one that was really on booty call was Madonna and Shimizu was the male who copulates. We must praise Madonna for her efforts because she is providing us with fresh laboratory specimens, like Shimizu, for our analysis.
Ward, David A. Women's prison: sex and social structure
We need a story about Elton John being invited by the Queen to a classical opera in Britain to sing the 'Sugar plum fairy' play. Please whatever you write, do not get over dramatic with the story or it will look fake and turn off your readers. If you saw the news report about Natalie Holloway being murdered you will see that it is done professionally. Those writers did not over dramatize her murder. They added a bit of exclusive reporting. They added a bit of revealing information not known by the public. They presented the information in its realistic totality. The name of the play 'Sugar plum fairy' and the fact that Elton is a Fairy is the hook, satire and humor all in one. It is unassuming and realistic. Please don't ruin it with a melodramatic personality. Keep it real.
If you don't want any legal problems, change the name of Elton to Felton John. You can use the picture of that group of homosexuals walking together and put under the picture "Adoring fans of Felton on their way to the opera while on prison furlough".
You can have a serious piece where the reporter states that Felton invited lesbian friend Britney Freekton to the opera but she declined stating she did not feel safe being around Felton.
This is a new method, which you can employ in some of your stories. For example, you can use the statement, "Adoring fans of Felton on their way to the opera while on prison furlough", and put it into an area adjacent to the picture of the walking homosexuals. Make it into a short paragraph explaining that the opera is selling many tickets. Then you can put a short description under the picture of the homosexuals, "Ticket goers rushing to show" You should try to improvise in a witty way that drives the excitement of the reader without letting your mind slip into a melodramatic condition.
Today Gay fans of Felton John were ecstatic over getting their prison furloughs to go to the opera that the Queen has hosted with Felton as the guest star performing the 'Sugar Plum Fairy'. Thousands of homosexual ticket goers rushed out of prison in mass numbers and headed to the concert.
Points to remember:
1.Use the name of a real opera to make it realistic
2.Use the real opening hours of the opera
3.Keep the story short and in a realistic environment
1. behaving, speaking, done, or said in a way that is more dramatic, shocking, or highly emotional than the situation demands
2. relating to or typical of melodrama
1. a period of leave granted to a prisoner, usually as a reward for good behavior and to reduce incarceration costs
We need a story about the Pope having blue balls. Try to experiment with different types of medias inside of news reports. This will make it more entertaining for the readers. There are comics, funny pages, movies, news reports, jokes, and novels. Try to make this news story in the form of a comic or funny page. Each paragraph would have to be a different scene. Fill each paragraph with descriptive words to create the picture of the comic squares. You would always use the words "It was reported" to identify it as a news report even though it is in the comic or funny page scene. This will be unusual and new to your reader. Since this is in the form of a comic or funny page, you can exaggerate plenty and add satire and wit to the extreme. You are not going into reality with this story. You are going straight into fantasy. You can say that the pope's balls became the size of a soccer ball. His eyes were bulging out from the pressure and his testicle sack started to crack like a faulty dam. You can use expressions like "The popes balls were growing like rip melons." You can end with saying the pope was recommended to the sperm bank because the hospital did not have the equipment to drain his balls. The pope is now the father of over 20 million children. No wonder they call him the father. You can also say he went straight to a sperm bank but was turned down because he had a sperm clot in his penis. The sperm bank recommended him a local whore named "Amanda Lay". She is known to suck a golf ball through a garden hose. Within seconds the popes balls were drained to the last drop and Amanda Lay was rushed to the hospital to have her stomach pumped. They removed six gallons of petrified sperm out of her stomach. She remains in the hospital in a coma.
the various means of mass communication thought of as a whole, including television, radio, magazines, and newspapers, together with the people involved in their production (takes a singular or plural verb)
We need a story on how Wikipedia has shortened Internet usage and saved the phone company billions of dollars in bandwidth time. Interview a fake financial analyst giving his professional opinion that the phone companies should give tax free donations to the Wikipedia organization to continue reaping the advantages they get from Wikipedia. Make true statements like "It was shown that people turn off their computers after using Wikipedia spending less time on the Internet. This in turn saves the phone companies 1.2 million dollars a month with decongested service lines" Make this story serious and use extreme wit and scientific data to amuse the reader and pull in thousands into your page. Use a headline like "Wikipedia helps the Big Boss" The Big Boss is the phone companies. Use a picture of an elephant and do not put anything under the picture to leave a bit to the imagination of the reader. In only rare cases does it merit not putting anything under a picture. This is such a case.
We need a story accusing Britney Speers of being disrespectful for trying to have sex with men. Demand from Britney that she have sex instead with lesbian women who are also a bunch of disrespectful opportunist. Use the picture of that demonic toy gremlin and under it put "Britney Speers" Put a statement in the story where a politician tells reporters, "Britney should sleep with a woman to know how it feels being an innocent man." We are news reporters and this is part of the job.
This will be a powerful story and it will lure thousands of people into your page producing amazement at the unusual perception.
1. unpopular people
2. certain comical subject- make them unassuming with constant mistakes. Like someone that is genetically clumsy.
3. the most popular celebrity- they usually are on the minds of 89 percent of your audience and will create an instant laugh.
4. use scientific ideas to attach to your comedy about people - your viewers get amused when others get outsmarted.
5. we need an eye spy series similar to the mad magazine version. This series should melt into headline news. Since spoof has limited pictures, you will have to use short and brief descriptions to create mental pictures in people's heads.
In the eye spy series, they have two people dressed in different colored clothing. This represents opposite opinions. The cartoon characters constantly undermine each other. The creators of the series got their ideas from drama school; I read a drama book. The series is the same as the British spy series "The Adventures". In the Adventures, opponents of different ideas would constantly undermine each other. For example, you take a celebrity like Spears and find someone who wants to undermine her, like her ex husband, the court system, child protection services, singing competitors. The law says that you cannot copy word for word but you can imitate the main idea and take small chunks of words as long as it is from a large piece of work. In the law, a person has rights to his own patent only if they continue to reinstate it. If they forget to reinstate their patent, after a certain period described by law it is free for someone else to claim if the new person pays the patent fees. If a person dies without heir, their real estate becomes public domain. We live in a society and we are not masters of an unclaimed universe. What I am telling you is no more different from what you will read in a drama book at a public college.
Example: The democratic opponent dressed in a wizards cloak attempted to undermine Tory with a soiled panty stolen from his Actress lover. Tory dressed in his birthday suit is caught in an office stealing documents. The police found him with a copy of Richard Nixon's life and times. Nixon being the ex American President who left office before being criminally impeached by the U.S. government.
resource guide- http://www.fas.org/irp/world/
Random subject search:
cats and dogs living together
the end of the world
jokes on mistakes made by religion - religious hypocrisy is a hot topic now, build on it and ride the wave.
humiliating famous people
sex - most popular
stupid things that happen
laws that authority violates
stupid looking animals - example: slow turtles, flamingos, ugly bats, snails, roaches, fleas, dodo birds and any animal that is really goofy to catch a laugh.
Use wikipedia to get private information on subjects you want to write about.
This is the only way to become a good comedy writer:The best way to improve your comedy is to watch stand up comedians and take notes every time you hear the crowd laugh. Write down the joke that made the crowd laugh and then analyze the joke to discover the components that sparked the laughter.