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Mark
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Mark

Location: Lancaster, England
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Posted: 5 Jun 07 20:16

Quote: Gnarly Erik

That pie are not square! That pie are round with the sides squashed flat! Anyone can see that. Nice try though.

Gnarly


Rats. I was hoping no-one would notice

Spoofing all over the world
Fergus McCarthy
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Fergus McCarthy

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Posted: 5 Jun 07 23:03 - Edited By: Fergus McCarthy, 5 Jun 07 23:07
Well TOSOG, thanks for the try, but I noticed you didn't bother to run the decimals all the way out - because they never end - and even TOSOG can't do it! And, it's all got me totally confused TOSOG, 'cause I keep hearing engineers and mathematicians saying things like 'pi R square', and a body would need the actual square root of a thing to find out how big the pie is, n'est pas?

Anyway, it always blows my mind since every damned fool already knows PIE ARE NOT SQUARE! PIE ARE ROUND! (even though a Samsonite suitcase may be sorta 'square' - 'rectangular' really though.) Sheese!

See what I mean? What's a body to think?

Gnarly
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If you really would like me to list all the decimal points of pi i will Gnarly, but you and I both know that you will never check it all to see if it's right, so why bother?

On the subject of pies, Who's ever had a pie floater in front of the Casino at five in the morning?

Fergus

(The other one)

May Dad and Thor be with you.

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Fergus McCarthy
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Fergus McCarthy

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Posted: 5 Jun 07 23:55

Fergus, Gnarly do you smell that whiff of sulphur ?

M&S:)

P.S. It's sad you don't believe. But, you did have a choice.



M+S?

What do you mean 'did' have a choice?
God is all loving and all forgiving.

That's what you all keep ****ing saying.

No ****ing problem then

Fergus
(Just Fergus)


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Gnarly Erik
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Gnarly Erik

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Posted: 6 Jun 07 00:06

Quote: Fergus McCarthy

Fergus, Gnarly do you smell that whiff of sulphur ?

M&S:)

Fergus
(Just Fergus)
It's overwhelming! I'm gagging onit! 'cough . . . cough . . . cough . . .'

Aschewe! Awsh**t! All better now.

Gnarly

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Moose&Squirell
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Moose&Squirell

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Posted: 6 Jun 07 01:35 - Edited By: Moose&Squirell, 6 Jun 07 01:39

...It's sad you don't believe. But, you did have a choice.
What do you mean 'did' have a choice?
God is all loving and all forgiving.

That's what you all keep ****ing saying.

No ****ing problem then

Without a personal relationship with Jesus...your insincere words of forgivness,
fall on deaf ears.

Therefore...You are NOT forgiven.

Remember, GOD knows your heart.

M&S:)

P.S. Your choice.

Remember...cause I forgot!
Gnarly Erik
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Gnarly Erik

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Posted: 6 Jun 07 01:57
I had a really sincere relationship with Jesus' sister for a good while oncet, but then she and Jesus both left and went back to Puerto Rico. Can that count?

Gnarly

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Moose&Squirell
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Moose&Squirell

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Posted: 6 Jun 07 02:05

I had a really sincere relationship with Jesus' sister for a good while once,
but then she and Jesus both left and went back to Puerto Rico.
Can that count?

Gnarly

Gnarley, Is it HOT in here or is that your friend Mr. "Diablo" whispering in your ear, again?!

Your Choice.

M&S:)


Remember...cause I forgot!
Gnarly Erik
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Gnarly Erik

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Posted: 6 Jun 07 02:42

Quote: Moose&Squirell


I had a really sincere relationship with Jesus' sister for a good while once,
but then she and Jesus both left and went back to Puerto Rico.
Can that count?

Gnarly

Gnarley, Is it HOT in here or is that your friend Mr. "Diablo" whispering in your ear, again?!

Your Choice.

M&S:)
All I gotta say is it may be HOT where you are, but I am COOL, COOL, COOL!

But, I'll have to admit that ol' Jesus' sister was pretty damned hot in our time! So hot it actually smoked sometimes. Hell, I get all hot and sweaty just thinking about it now! Whoo boy!

One advantage I have these days, I don't get all hot & bothered or wear myself out toting around a lot of mystical baggage or Easter eggs. There seems to be plenty of others who love to do that for me.

Gnarly

Gnarly & Opinionated
Fergus McCarthy
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Fergus McCarthy

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Posted: 6 Jun 07 07:19 - Edited By: Fergus McCarthy, 6 Jun 07 07:33
Your last few posts sum up the whole religion thing really,
If you believe, and only truly believe, you will go to heaven, or The Crazy Horse in Adelaide and if you dont believe you go to a sulphury Hell like place where you are tormented for eternity by the devil and his demons.

So by that way of thinking, myself and Gnarly are doomed, even though we may be the nicest most helpful an community minded people you are ever likely to meet.
Say for example if I devote so many hours a week helping the elderly or the physically disabled or man the lines at the Samaritans just because I would like to help people and I'm not doing it for the love of God or to earn Brownie points to get into heaven because I dont believe.

Then you get a believer, maybe he beats his wife, cheats on his wife, gives **** all to charity, helps no one, but he believes in God.

Seems a bit unbalanced to me,

Just because we dont believe does'nt make us evil, most wars are held in the name of God, does that mean they are just wars?

George W. believes, will he go to heaven or hell?
Tricky one really because he really does seem to believe, and if he truly does believe that he is doing the right thing does he deserve to go to hell?

St Peter has one hell of a difficult job on the pearly gates eh?
The Simon Cowell of Heaven.


Picture the scene at the pearly gates,
George W- Hi

ST Peter- Come on in George, have a drink, you deserve it,
Oi!!!! McCarthy! Piss off! You did'nt believe you little ****e!

Me- Yeah sorry about that but I did raise 2 million Euro to buid houses for the poor in Africa and I funded an orphanage in Calcutta out of my own earnings and I loved my wife and kids and gave every homeless person I met 10 Euro to get something to eat.

St Peter- Does'nt matter, you did'nt believe, **** off,
Theres ice in the fridge George.



And one last thing, the demons that torment you in hell?
What did they do to get that job?
Presumably they enjoy it so does that make hell their Heaven and if so does that mean that they are believers with a bit of a cruel streak.

So many questions, so few answers.

Fergus

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Moose&Squirell
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Moose&Squirell

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Posted: 6 Jun 07 07:42 - Edited By: Moose&Squirell, 6 Jun 07 07:59

So by that way of thinking, myself and Gnarly are doomed, even though we may be the nicest most helpful an community minded people you are ever likely to meet.
Say for example if I devote so many hours a week helping the elderly or the physically disabled or man the lines at the Samaritans just because I would like to help people and I'm not doing it for the love of God or to earn Brownie points to get into heaven because I dont believe.
That's Correct. you CANNOT work your way to heaven. It means nothing to GOD.

Then you get a believer, maybe he beats his wife, cheats on his wife, gives **** all to charity, helps no one, but he believes in God. Seems a bit unbalanced to me,
When you TRULY believe in GOD you abide by HIS commandments...if you don't, you are NOT a believer.

If that guy seems a bit unbalanced...your right. He is


Again, Your choice.
It will always come down on how you choose.
That's what Judgement Day is all about. Seeing how you lived your life and the choices you made.

M&S:)

Remember...cause I forgot!
Jalapenoman
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Jalapenoman

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Posted: 6 Jun 07 20:33
This post, totally religious, will probably really piss off Eric, but...

I'm actually going to disagree with you just a little bit, Moose and Squirrel....

You state that you cannot work your way into Heaven and that God pays no attention to that.

It actually says in the Bible that "Faith without works is dead."

I believe that salvation is a combination of Grace, Faith, and Works and then enduring to the end (no backsliding). I think that all of these are important for us to make it back.

I heard an analogy once about a man trapped in a dark pit. He yelled and called for help, but there was no one there to save him. Finally, God heard the man and let down a rope (the Grace of God). He told the man to grab on and hold on and that he could be saved. The man believed in his rescuer and reached around and found the rope (fatih). Then, while holding on to the rope, he begin to be lifted out of the pit. He occasionally climbed a little with his feet to make the job easier for the one pulling him out (both works and enduring to the end).

I know that there are several scriptures that seem to disagree and point to salvation only being by grace or by faith. I think that both have to be there or there is no salvation.

Being raised by an Italian mother on the Mexican border made me realize that entrees are not edible without jalapenos, onions, green chilis, or garlic. Hence, I am the J-man.
Fergus McCarthy
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Fergus McCarthy

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Posted: 6 Jun 07 21:51
So what's the verdict then?

If I arrive at the pearly gates and say to St. Peter, "fair enough - you were here all along, I believe. That other lot were right all along, will I get in as long as I haven't done anything too bad?".

Ferg

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queen mudder
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queen mudder

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Posted: 6 Jun 07 21:54
Salvation? from what?

That presupposes that part of the personality or essence of a human survives death.

Selling this idea has been the most profitable long-running con trick ever invented.



Gravity is a myth, the earth sux?
carina-eta
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carina-eta

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Posted: 6 Jun 07 22:42
What if there's just........ nothing. What if we are so miniscule and pathetic in the whole way of things that we didn't matter enough for anyone to create a heaven or hell or valhalla or anything at all for us. If you can believe there is just nothing then that's true inner strength ( except you might feel dumb when you have to explain it to a tut-tutting St Peter at the Pearly gates)

Someone tried to make my life not worth living and NOW they're trying to kill me!
Fergus McCarthy
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Fergus McCarthy

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Posted: 6 Jun 07 23:10
There is no shame in asking for a bit of ID or proof Carina, It amazes me that believers believe what they have been told to believe.

"ALL TOGETHER NOW, THIS IS WHAT YOU SHOULD BELIEVE, DONT QUESTION IT, IN FACT DONT ASK ANY QUESTIONS AT ALL.
JUST BELIEVE.
I KNOW IT ALL HAPPENED TWO THOUSAND YEARS AGO AND HE HAS'NT BEEN IN CONTACT SINCE BUT A FEW OF HIS FRIENDS WROTE A BIG BOOK ABOUT IT AND THAT'S WHAT YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE IN,
FAILURE TO BELIEVE WILL RESULT IN RED HOT POKERS UP YOUR ARSE AND THEN WHERE WILL YOU BE?"

If you dont believe in the Devil but you believe fervently in God but you are a bit of a bad bastard and do lots of bad stuff and St Peter says "Bollox McCarthy you aint comin in ere"

And so you get sent down to hell and you meet the lad on the gate, the Anti St Peter and you say
"Howya doin, er, Fergus McCarthy, just been sent away from the VIP room upstairs, seems I'm not suitable erm, so they sent me down here........... Bit warm innit?"

"Yes, new heating just installed, last winter was a bitch, I'll just check, McCarthy was'nt it?"

"Yes, Fergus McCarthy"

"OoKaay..... Frances,Frances, Fergu...... Ah yes Fergus, oh?!"

"What? What is it ? Is there a problem?"

"Fraid so,........ i'm very sorry Fergus but you cant come in, you did'nt believe in him, sorry."

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Fergus McCarthy
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Fergus McCarthy

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Posted: 6 Jun 07 23:19
Lets face it lads, your all going around praising Jesus and God because your teachers, your parents and a load of sexually frustrated men in dresses tell you to from the time you are born.

TELL ME!!!

When was the last or even the first time one of you people spoke to God and he answered back when you were sober, and what did he say?

Please dont insult me by giving me the old "Billy Graham Concert, No tickets, Stranger handed me front row Ticket, Praise be"

I 've heard that one on 3 different continents.

Ferg

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Gnarly Erik
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Gnarly Erik

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Posted: 6 Jun 07 23:46

Quote: Jalapenoman

This post, totally religious, will probably really piss off Eric, but...


The only thing that really pisses me off is that somehow so many forums get turned into 'wandering through those lost valleys of religious mysticism (read insecurity)'. Why can't you people give it a rest?

Even the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus only come around once a year.

I think it's a case of trying to reinforce and reassure yourselves that there 'really is a God' out there somewhere. ("I know there is, I think there is, I'm pretty sure there is, oh sh**t, well maybe there really isn't?") I got some breaking news for you all:

IF THERE'S A CONSCIOUSNESS AFTER DEATH (I CAN'T SEE HOW THERE IS, BUT GIVING THE BENEFIT OF A DOUBT), YER ALL GONNA BE SORELY PEEVED TO ARRIVE SOMEWHERE, WHEREVER, AND ALL THOSE SECTS AND TRIBES AND VARIOUS RELIGIONS ARE GONNA BE ENGAGED IN THE 'MOTHER OF ALL WARS' (just as they are here on Earth).

And all us heathens are gonna be so entertained - especially Fergus and me and the Queen - (just as we are NOT watching yer nonesense in the here and now).

So, for hopefully the last time:

"Here we go again . . .

If religionists could ever restrain themselves from 'proselytizing' and polluting the world with their 'beliefs' (whatever they may be and who the hell else ever gives a damn?), our world would be a far better, saner, far more peaceful, happier and kinder place. It would for damned sure certainly be a far quieter place.

Read my lips: So, won't you people please just shut up about it? NO ONE ELSE CARES WHAT YOU BELIEVE!

Would all you relgious mystics please keep your insecurities, fears and myths to yourselves and not keep trying to inflict them on the rest of us? I'm asking nicely now (again and again and again); Pretty please with sugar on top?"


In the possibly futile hope of getting this topic back on something sane, I am offering up something for our good editor:

* * * * * *SQUARED PIES

Gnarly

Gnarly & Opinionated
Moose&Squirell
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Moose&Squirell

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Posted: 7 Jun 07 00:49 - Edited By: Moose&Squirell, 7 Jun 07 01:01
I'm actually going to disagree with you just a little bit, Moose and Squirrel....You state that you cannot work your way into Heaven and that God pays no attention to that...It actually says in the Bible that "Faith without works is dead."

We're talking about "WORKS" only.

Fergus mentioned in his writings if all he did was works does that mean he goes to heaven and our answer was NO.


...Read my lips: So, won't you people please just shut up about it? NO ONE ELSE CARES WHAT YOU BELIEVE!


Your choice.


M&S:)

Remember...cause I forgot!
Gail Farrelly
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Posted: 7 Jun 07 07:33
I read that the author Kitty Kelly has a towel in one of her bathrooms that says, "Good girls go to Heaven. Bad girls go everywhere."

dattaswami
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Posted: 8 Jun 07 04:04
There are five types of people in this world dealt by God. The first type people have real love towards God and sacrifice practically to God. The Lord rewards them with infinite and real fruit. The second type of people sacrifice practically but want to achieve ten times more. Such people are businessmen. They invest little and aspire for more profit. The Lord returns back whatever such people sacrificed. The Lord also gives the extra expected by them but that extra is from their account only.

The good result of a good deed to be enjoyed in the future birth is drawn back with reduced value and is given as the extra, which was aspired by the people. All this process takes place without the knowledge of the people. The third type of the people sacrifice words by prayers and feelings throw devotion without any practical sacrifice. Such people are in the path of a prostitute who also sacrifices sweet words and sweet feelings to extract something practically from a person. The Lord fulfills their aspiration by drawing the good result of their good deal from their future birth. The fourth type of people are atheists.

They enjoying the world created by the Lord and abuse the Lord. The Lord will keep silent towards them in this world. The Lord uses the atheists to test His devotees. He will observe whether such atheists can affect His devotee. Later on the atheist will be severely punished by the Lord. The fifth type of people neither recognizes nor abuses the Lord. They simply enjoy the world without bothering about the Lord. The Lord will throw such people into the births of animals, birds, worms etc. In such births one can enjoy the world without worrying about the Lord.



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