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Since my phone is out and TheSpoof.com doesn't pay me enough to have it re-connected, my mother wrote me a letter for Mothers' Day. As some of you who read my 360 blog might know, my mother lives in my old double-wide trailer in Texas. Here's her letter:


Dear Son,

I am writing this slow because I know you cannot read fast. We do not live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within twenty miles of home, so we moved.

Would not be able to send you the address as the last Texan family that lived here took the numbers with them for their house, so they would not have to change their address.

This place has a washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in it, pulled the chain and have not seen them since.

It only rained twice this week, three days the first time and four days the second time.

The coat you wanted me to send to you, Aunt Sue said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with them heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.

We got a bill from the funeral home, and it said if we did not make the final payment on Grandma's funeral bill, up she comes.

About your sister, she had a baby this morning. I have not found out whether if it is a boy or a girl so I do not know if you are an Aunt or Uncle.

Your Uncle John fell in the whiskey vat. Some men tried to get him out, but he fought them off playfully, so he drowned. We cremated him, and he burned for three days.

Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pickup. One was driving and the other two were in the back. The driver got out. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. The other 2 drowned. They could not get the tailgate down.

Not much more news this time. Nothing much happened. If you do not get this letter, please let me know and I will send another one.

Love Mom

P.S.
I was going to send you some money, but the envelope was already sealed.

Happy Mother's Day to all mothers out there.

An additional Happy Mother's Day to all of the single and custodial Dads, who have to do both jobs in raising their kids. I know that it is thankless and seems to be without reward, but you will be blessed for this.

I raised my family by myself for seven years. I knew that I was really getting in touch with my feminine side when I started lactating.

Anyway, Happy Mother's Day.

(Yes, I will wish the same thing to all single Mothers on Father's Day).

Happy Mother's Day from Moose&squirell

I'm here in Hawaii and Squirell flew out to Las Vegas to celebrate with her Mom.

Happy Mom's day to you too Squirell's Mom!

...and my late Mom.

...and Mom's around the world...you're the best.

M&S:)

Happy Mothers' Day to all Mr. Moms out there. Ok, ok, Happy Mothers' Day to all you Mothers too!

Seriously, my first wife left when my son was 6 mo. old, so I know a little about being a "Mr. Mom" too. She was a little "gender confused," if you know what I mean. Ain't lactating a b*tch? It can make you feel a little strange having to give the gentle "mother's love" when you're used to being the big, strong man of the house.

Happy Mothers' Day M&S and queen mudder!

Love, Hope, Peace, & Christ Be With You,

Cal-el

Yep, Happy Mothers Day everybody and thanks for the greetings. This is the second time this year because of the Brit version in March. And the Saudi one in June just in case anybody needs it.
If my Mom was alive we'd polish off a bottle of something strong, fizzy and ruinous together. Maybe 2. Or a drop of the Jamesons.
Here's to all the mothers and their mothers' ruin.
qm

Hey QM, Happy Mother's Day!

Hope you saw the snippet I wrote in your honor:

The Spoof's Queen Mudder Ponders Taking Some Time Off for Mother's Day

May only produce 3 or 4 stories instead of her usual daily output of 5 or 6.

Please don't prove me wrong by posting more than 4 today!

Cheers,
Gail

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Quote: Gail Farrelly
Please don't prove me wrong by posting more than 4 today!
Cheers,
Gail

---

Bong!
Thanks Gail and a very happy mother's day to you too.
Haven't quite counted, but it MIGHT be 4, but that's because one was written just after midnight when the day started.
Oh well never mind, it was only a crappy 10 point story about Nazis in Cossacksville of somethin'.
qmx