I haven't told this to anyone in the whole wide world. Not even my parents, though I think they suspect.
My true and actual name is not Wolf Blitzer. That is what they call a "stage name." Strong, like a wolf. Blitzer, like a reindeer, sort of.
Anyway, who on earth would have hired me with a name like "Perfutin Zangladitz"? You can understand why I changed it, right?
You must promise me, Diary, upon threat of death, that you will not reveal my secret. Thanks.