Wayne Rooney - My Spoof Diary

This is the spoof journal of Wayne Rooney. It is purely a parody of what we imagine a diary made by Wayne Rooney would be like and hope you find the fake diary as funny.

Currently showing entries from: 2013 | 2012 | 2011 | 2010

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December 2012


Monday 31 December 1212

SO I am officially injured for three weeks which means i can rest up for new years eve and eat a few more pork pies than normal. It does mean that...

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Saturday 29 December 1212

This time last year, the gaffer Sir Alec dropped me for a home match with Blackburn Rovers and we lost 3-2 at Old Trafford. We ended up losing the...

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November 2012


Wednesday 07 November 1212

TOnight we play Braga away in the Champions League. With a 100% win record from our first three CL games, I was hoping the gaffer Sir Alex might le...

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October 2012


Wednesday 17 October 1212

Poland 1 England 1 Scored the goal for England in the first half, but gaffer subbed me just after Poland equalized in the 70th minute. He did the s...

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Friday 12 October 1212

England 5 San Marino 0 Rooney 2, Wellbeck 2, Oxlade-Chamberlein. A very proud moment for me, captaining the team at Wembley, in the absence of G...

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September 2012


Wednesday 19 September 1212

The rumours that I could be on the bench tonight against Galatassaray in the champions League. Well it will be good to get back in the team after...

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Tuesday 18 September 1212

Cor blimey what next! Former sex escort Jenny Thompson, who famously enjoyed a sexual liaison with me, has revealed she is pregnant. But it is c...

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Monday 17 September 1212

I've given myself a chance of being fit for Manchester United's match at Liverpool in a week. I look certain to be available for England's World Cu...

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Breaking News...

Spanish senator blames country's 1 trillion euro debt on homosexuals

Luz Elena Sanin says every Spanish gay has been subsidised at around one million dollars apiece by the European Union since 1997. Jeez....


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