Tom Cruise - My Fake Diary


Monday, 24 November 2008

Well, Christmas is coming and the goose is getting fat, so please put some platform shoes in little Tommies hat. Got up in great form today.

We don't believe in Christmas really, you know. We may believe in green men from the Constellation of Shovehaypenny, but a virgin having a child. Come off it maaaaaan! You think we're idiots? And at Christmas time when the shops are so busy?

I don't think so.

I found out why so many people died on the Titanic. It seems that when the ship was sinking, the shop had a water damage sale, and with all the New York women fighting for a bargain. Hey. Sinkville and Drownville. They should have been paying attention.

Sadly that screaming Selina Diona never went down with the ship, and has been inflicting us with her voice for years. Still, you got your own back on us with that Leonie Day Lewis who won y...

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