Tom Cruise - My Fake Diary

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Saturday, 6 September 2008

8.00 Straight out of bed today for a busy day. Pastor Gonzo from the Planet Zog is visiting to give us an update on how things are going for L Ron now that he has died and gone to another place.

9.00 Wife joins me for breakfast. Got the orange crate out to give her a good morning kiss.

10.00 John phones (that's the famous actor John Travolta who starred in movies) to ask what time the meeting is, as he has to find somewhere on the mall to park his 747

11.00 Had an anonymous phone call from someone. Don't know who. She shouted down the phone that I was a "stupid little cult", or at least that's what I think she called me. I am sick of telling people that just because we brainwash people, take shedloads of money from them and believe in little green men from outer space, this doesn't mean we're not an established religion like ...

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