I first heard about cults when I was about 11. I heard they usually did all the thinking for you and you pretty much had to just follow their rules. That sounded great to me because, as you know Dear Diary, I'm not much of a thinker.
I tried Catholicism but there was still of thinking involved. I was kind of in a tailspin until Mimi came along. That's probably why I married her because she was involved with Scientology, a REAL cult!
It wasn't long before the "church" was dominating every aspect of my life, telling me what to do with every moment of my time, just like I wanted!
And now so many great things have happened to me! I have my own Scientology minions and don't have to do any thinking any more! The church even picks out my wives for me! I'm so upstat!