Tom Cruise - My Fake Diary


Tuesday, 10 December 2013

Dear Diary,
Well, I don't even care that Will Smith and Jaden won't talk to me anymore after their After Earth movie tanked. I am going to see if I can get the Church of Scientology to declare them Suppressive Beings. That'll show 'em!
I don't care about ANY of that because I'm excited that the Super Power Building has opened in Clearwater! Soon, besides possessing super-awesomeness, I'll have super strength, super speed, super vision, and the new Scientology sense of Super-oiliness.
I can't wait! I've already worn out three couches just thinking about it!
Love me,

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