Dear Diary - I can't believe how lonely I am since Katie Holmes divorced me. I asked her to give me another chance but she told me that the magic number was 27.
I honestly felt that I had only asked her about 23 times at the most.
And now I am embarrassed because I was caught at the La Brea Tar Pits parked in my car with a Katie Holmes Inflatable Doll.
The officers let me go with a warning but they did take Katie II, as exhibit A.
Oh well, I guess I'll just go out and buy a new one.