July 3, 1999
I have been feeling really down today, I'm not sure why. I don't think Nicole is attracted to me anymore, and to be honest I'm not all that attracted to her anymore either. Don't get me wrong, I love my wife but the spark just isn't there. I have tried to get the spark back into our relationship but for some reason my body just won't respond to her sexually. We have tried things like sex toys, lingerie, and even discussed inviting that girl from Dawson's Creek, Katie I think, into a threesome.
I think my problem is that I can't get Gene Hackman out of my mind long enough to become aroused by Nicole. It seems like the second Gene pops into my head, I become all hot and bothered. I think it all began in 1992 when we were working on the movie, The Firm, together. This is so confusing to me, but I don't know how to handle it.