The Pope - My Fake Diary


Thursday, 23 October 2008

6.00 Oy Vay! What a day! I ask you? Thought about the day for a moment, then gave Mrs Pope a nudge to stop her snoring, and turned over to grab a few extra zzzzz's before the toil of the day.

6.01 Sat bolt upright. Just realised I'm not married, or even engaged. Who is this woman in the Papal Bed?

6.02 Just about to kick her out of bed when a hand starts fondling my Papal Nuncio, who himself stands to attention in greeting. My mind goes back to the last time something like this happened. It was decades ago, behind the bike shed at school. I was but a lad, and Father O'Boils was but a future prison inmate.

6.05 Really must get up for breakfast before something I might regret happens. Rush into Papal Bathroom for a shower.

6.15 A quick Hail Mary before breakfast. I just have my usual light breakfast - some cornflakes, weetabix, toast...

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