Dear Diary, today I learned that Monsignor Rafferty has been taking unauthorized "spins" on the Popemobile. Cardinal Iglesias tells me that Rafferty takes it around the Vatican parking lot dressed in white robes, waving to onlookers who think it's me.
I confronted Rafferty about this. At first he denied it but then confessed. As punishment, I've scheduled some time with Rafferty on "the rack." I know we haven't used it since the Inquisition (aka the "Good Old Days"), but I think it's high time we revived it. Rafferty's going to soil himself when he finds out...hee-hee!