Dear Diary, today, Monsignor Mussolini wanted me to sign off on a "fact-finding mission" to San Marino and I said no. And do you know what he said? He said, "John Paul II would have."
Well, I just glared at him and said, "Do I LOOK LIKE $#@&$#* JOHN PAUL II? Do I go around carrying my skis and going to prisons to meet with nutjobs who try to assassinate me? Do I go around beatifying nine-year-olds who think they deserve $#@&%@ sainthood because they CLEANED THEIR $#@%&*@ ROOM?"
(I made the last one up--but Mussonlini didn't need to know that! Hee-hee!)
Well, that shut him up. And as far as I'm concerned, he can go visit San Marino on the back of a $#@&%@ burro.