Dear diary,
What a glorious day, this is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in It!.
Considering that Friday was a great event in history and seen all around the world by millions… Nay billions of people, I want to make today's beatification of Pope John Paul II into an even greater spectacle. I want to upstage the Protestant sector!
Although the royal wedding brought in over 1 million people to London, I expect over 1.5 million believers to see the remains of a new saint. Did have a bit of a problem though - when we exhumed the body of John Paul II we found that his body had disappeared - he must have been closer to Jesus than we had ever imagined!. How could we explain this to the masses?
In the early hours of Saturday morning, Cardinal Dominic and I took the body of someone else and placed it in the coffin...

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