I had a visitation from Saint Peter today (he keeps me updated on the goings on upstairs).
The first Pope wanted to tell me about an experience he had last week at the Pearly Gates.
It seems that Michael Jackson showed up and wanted to get in, but he wasn't on the list.
Peter read him sections from his list of sins involving little boys and told him that there was a different place prepared for him, and he might want to bring some sunblock and deodorant.
Michael then offered to buy his way in (I understand that this has worked for the past for him in California).
Well, you can't take it with you and MJ was penniless at the Pearly Gates. We're also not selling indulgences these days, so he was out of luck.
As part of his punishment, he's got the biggest nose in Hell (to smell all of the sweaty body odor...