The Pope - My Fake Diary


Thursday, 12 February 2009

Who iss der schwarzer Mustapha Kamir? Gott in Himmel! I hear today zat he vill be der new Gott! Diese arbeit ist meinen!!

Note for self - Give up the German thing.

Years! Years I have worked my way up, kissing Cardinal's rings. Finally, I get the top job, well, almost top. There I am, sat in the Big Chair in the Vatican, big old cigar, cognac at hand, wondering if promotion is a possibility, you know, should the Big Man decide to step down.

And Lo and Behold, He does just that! But who does He pick to replace Him? Mustapha Kamir? Who?????

I had some of my Opus Dei guys take a look. Apparently, he's a bit of a ne'er-do-well from somewhere called Barnsley, in England. How can that be? It's not even Catholic! And Mustapha? Well, I don't want to do a 'Carol Thatcher' here but, Mustapha isn't the first name that sprin...

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