Another Children in Need, and am I involved this year?
Am I hell. No, they have Terry Wogan, and all of these chaps. Jonathan Ross is doing something, Russell Brand is appearing as well, but do they have room for me at all? No, they do not, and I have three names.
I could have played my Piano, or been slightly irritating, but in an endearing way. I bet you Claudia Winkleman and Tess Daly are both helping Terry out.
I bet Take That and West Life will be there. Even Simon Cowell and Piers Morgan will probably be involved in a sketch of sorts together, but there is still no room for little old me.
Oh well, maybe next year. I have 365 days to lift my profile, if nothing else.