Tara Palmer-Tomkinson - My Fake Diary

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Tuesday, 14 October 2008

...phoned. She's my bestest friend. We went to the local organic shop for some organic stuff. I was told that their new organic Yak's Urine and Hemlock Tea is very refreshing and great for the toenails. Met Danielle Dimwit, my bestest friend. She was buying organic sliced slugs for her salad.

4.00 Time flies when you're having fun spending daddy's money. Afternoon tea with Barry Brainless, my bestest friend. I like him because he has a wonderfully-shaped penis. Looks like a wallet. I know a lot about wallets. Especially how to empty them.

6.00 Supper time with Daddy. Took my bestest friend Fatima Fatuous to meet them. She's really harmless, because she has no brain and is confined to a chair for most of the day.

8.00 Time to catch up on the soaps. Ursula Useless, my bestest friend, has a soap she bought in Harvey Nicks, while Sara Stuupide, m...

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