9.00 Yippee. It's 9am which is considerably after 8am. Had a breakfast of deep fried museli with boiled yoghurt, a recipe I got from my bestest friend Tamara Dimwit
10.00 Off to London Weekend Television to record a programme. I think it's a television one. I do like to give the license payer value for money. That chap Professor Stephen Hawking is on and will be telling us about his experience when he was on Big Brother
11.30 Television recording finished and now off to the Dreck Bar in Soho for the opening of their new snug. I'm wearing my new £600 Crapatchi Jeans and £1300 Jimmy Zoo trainers. I do look good. People say my legs start at my toes and go right up to my arse, and I believe them
14.00 Meeting Daddy to get my spending money from him, as I am down to my last quarter of a million. Can't have an IT girl like me struggling to buy h...