Stephen Hawking - My Fake Diary

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Sunday, 27 June 2010

Dear diary, I am in Canada now and just do not understand all of this fuss over me. I died years ago and for some reason the scientists are keeping my body alive. I do not know how they are doing this but they are. It is embarassing because I smell a bit and other people are keeping my dreams alive.

Dear diary, this is so unfair. I was an atheist when I lived and now in death, or as I prefer to call it, 'pre-life' I find myself in a very strange position. They have my embalmed body and have stuck it in a very wierd position in a wheelchair for all to see and worship. This is so sick.

Dear diary, I foresaw all of this when I was alive and that is why I put together this electronic diary to be 'aired' after my 'real death'.

It is blatently obvious, from my research, that I was able to figure out the Big Bang Theory. Therefore,...

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