Dear Diary - It looks like I have gone and stepped smack dab in a pile of you-know-what.
What was I thinking when I got involved with that Lauren Silverman woman. I mean, she isn't even my type. I like them young and the old gal is 36.
I knew that I should have used a condom but the old witch kept saying that she'd had her tubes tied and there was no way she could ever get pregnant.
I sure do miss my Carmen. She was such a fantastic woman and she knew more positions than a slide trombone player.
One never knows, maybe the baby will turn out to be her husband's or even some other bloke's. Gosh I hope so.