Just had one mother of a row with Ozzy over that damn African grey parrot - again. He's only been teaching the crazy bird a bunch of expletives - it's one foul-mouthed mother now.
I'm working my butt off to change our image - sick of being a national bloody joke as The Most Dysfunctional Family in America and what does that great bollox do? Brings the mad bird in while I'm doing a T.V. interview.
There I was talking about how we're taking educational classes and watching art films with sub-titles and the parrot says "Feck off you bastards!"
I did my best to look shocked and angry but actually it was bloody hilarious.