Dear Diary - That friggin volcano sure does have a lot of my fellow Alaskans all in a tissy. Ya know, I have told them that I, as a private citizen, am doing everything I can to try and prevent this Pavlof Volcano from erupting all to hell and melting my icy state into a big gigantic pond of cold water.
Many people have told me to mind my own freakin business but that is not who Sarah Palin is. No sir, gosh darnit, Sarah Palin is a nice, caring, sexually attractive bitch whose only goal is to try and get her three out-of-control, semi-pretty daughters from using curse words every 12 seconds or so.
I am Sarah Palin, the Mama of The Tea Bag Party and no one, not Oprah Winfrey, not Katie Couric, and not even Omarosa can stop me.