Dear Diary - I am so hurt at the fact that Todd will not take me moose hunting. He says that he is too busy fishing with his fishing guide Nanicka Zapalicka.
Fishing, smishing, I know that those two are engaging in some hanky panky but I cannot say anything because then he will bring up that black college basketball player and that Eskimo plumber.
And little Piper is really getting on my nerves. Yesterday I caught that little heathen trying to mate our pet rabbit with our bet woodchuck.