Dear Diary - I am very lonely these days. It seems like just about everyone in the Lower 48 has forgotten all about me - even my old 2008 presidential running mate Johnny McCain.
My cell phone never rings. I do not receive any text messages, and our dogs are starting to bark at me for no reason.
I know now how outcasts like Gilbert Gottfried, Michael Richards, the Dixie Chicks, and Madonna all must feel.
Even my youngest daughter Piper "The Plane" Palin has told me that she does not want me to attend any PTA meetings because she doesn't want to have to hide in the girl's bathroom during the one hour meeting like she did in September and October.
I guess that's the price I pay for being so gosh darn intelligent and pretty as a button. I may end up moving to Russia.