Santa Claus - My Fake Diary


Monday, 26 May 2008

Mrs. Claus made me try another diet this week but it ended like the others, me losing my willpower and consuming my body weight in cookies and reindeer meat. I don't see how Kristy Allen ever lost weight on Jenny Craig, I only lost my mind. And when Mrs. Claus suggested the South Beach diet I just had to laugh because I see no beaches around here. I mean what's my motivation for losing weight? I never have to wear a swim suit, I can't die so I don't have to wory about clogged arteries, and the people expect me to be heavy. I would let down the children if I no longer at their cookies. So I guess I owe it to the world to continue my self-destructive eating habits and continue to break the scales or we just couldn't have Christams.

Jollily yours,


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