Dear Fucking Diary,
Fucking Hello!
Choppper Reid h-...I mean Santa Calush yeah! I went to fucking Australia last fucking christmas and I went down thsi great man's chimney his name was fucking Mark Chopper Reid he was a mass murderer and a good fucking one too 18 kills never did time for any fucking one. he read me a poem called Twas the Night Before Christmas when I came down teh cimney like a sooty red bastard of course he was angry the prancing and pouring of my fucking homosexual reindeer Right-O I'm glad he didn't start fucking shooting or else I would'nt have been able to come back pose as him and fuck his wife who's a fucking tart as well oh fuck did I tell you the Spoof gave me a Fuck counter I'm only allowed to say Fuck 15 times :11
Fucking 11? I thought I was ten How the fuck did I get to 11?! 13? That's f-...That...
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