Santa Claus - My Fake Diary


Friday, 29 December 2006

Note: This diary article was found in the bin of "Santa Claus" on the 29th of December, 2006. The original date of the article appeared to be the 20th, but we guess Santa doesn't take out his garbage often...

Dear diary,

What the hell is going on? I went to the mall today to find a little somethin' for Mrs. Claus, and things escalated into a brawl! Anyway, I'll give you a rundown of what happened while I take a sip of this god-awful Egg Nogg (Double-G, for the true Gangsta inside of me. Hey, that rhymed!). The Mrs. doesn't like it if I diss her Pimp Juice, yo.

For confidentiality purposes, I went dressed under my non-Santa identity... Tim Allen. I didn't want any more toddlers comin' up to me and urinating on my leg, especially on my day off!

... Well, one...

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