I can't decide what I want to do today.
Should I go down to the Dunkin Donuts, eat a few dozen, and say bad things about Donald Trump?
Should I go to the Baskin Robbins, eat a gallon of ice cream, and say bad things about Elizabeth Quarterback's Husband?
Should I go to The Cheesecake Factory, sample everything they let me get away with, and pine over how I would want Tom Cruise if I wasn't a Lesbian?
Should I find a bunch of papparazzi, get them to follow me around all day, and do all of the above?
It will be more work, and the all the food might make my ass even bigger, but I think I'll do the last one.