Dear Dairy, (I am crap at spelling but don't cry)
Today has been a f---ed up day. First of all, my shampoo conditioner just made my wrinkles worse and they stood out in front of everyone.
I accidentally forgot my jocks and skirt at home when I went to the shops bottom naked.
Rumours are going around about me. They are lies (shhh...they are true) and complete sh-t!
I weighed myself on the scale just to find out I gained 545,999 kgs. I gone from 1 kg up to 546,000 kgs. WAWAWAW!!!
Barrack Obama called me a f---ed up loser. He is rude and and he said p-ss off and I p-ssed him off. Get it?
I went to the shops and the Chinese ripped me off. I said "Don't rip me off ever again!" and they are like "Me no chinese" well they can shut their big fat f---en hillary clinton mouth.
I commited suicid...