Ray Mears - My Spoof Diary

This is the spoof journal of Ray Mears. It is purely a parody of what we imagine a diary made by Ray Mears would be like and hope you find the fake diary as funny.

Currently showing entries from: 2013 | 2012 | 2010 | 2009 | 2008

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December 2009


Wednesday 09 December 099

December 9th - The cat tasted like chicken, but made my stomach feel like shit - hot, runny shit to be precise. When my bowels did eventually move, it...

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November 2009


Tuesday 24 November 099

Dear Diary it's been two weeks since I last ate. Crew have gone home, I'm on my own. I ate a cat today. It just wandered in to the back ga...

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Saturday 14 November 099

Why, oh why, do I keep eating this crap?! Flambéed widgety grub a la kangaroo's vagina. I've been shi**ing through the eye of a needle for three...

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August 2009


Thursday 06 August 099

Ok I'm not that good at survival stuff I admit it. I fell out of my hammock four times last night and I can't even swim but it's just TV. I mean no on...

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Tuesday 04 August 099

Who does that son-of-a-bitch Bare Grylls think he is? Trying to knick my niche. He'll come a cropper one of these days with his silly bloody antics. T...

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Tuesday 04 August 099

Sorry it's been a while since I last wrote folks but my eye sight has only just returned since I ate some dodgy wild mushorroms. The doctor says I...

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July 2009


Tuesday 28 July 099

I never heard of Haylie Duff! Couldn't believe she's Hilary Duff's big sister!...

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Sunday 26 July 099

I've been trying to call Hilary Duff for like, two days and a half. I need her to do a movie about my precious life. I want her to portray all my love...

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Breaking News...

Obama... Ordinary like us.

Yesterday, President Obama was refused entry into a restaurant for not wearing a tie and later fined for double parking and... ordered to return his library books... and thrown off a tram...and...

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