Ray Mears - My Spoof Diary

This is the spoof journal of Ray Mears. It is purely a parody of what we imagine a diary made by Ray Mears would be like and hope you find the fake diary as funny.

Currently showing entries from: 2013 | 2012 | 2010 | 2009 | 2008

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December 2008


Sunday 07 December 088

Been visiting me mate Gordon Hillman in Kew Gardens' Tree Surgery clinic. Old Gordon's laid up with a multiple case of dry rot and termite infesta...

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Sunday 07 December 088

Just finished filming a BBC Christmas Special survival programme featuring a traditional New Guinea Yuletide Bush Tucker Feast. Me and me mate O'Di...

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November 2008


Wednesday 12 November 088

Met up with me old mate Shabo O'Dinga today. He's on leave from the Darfur Anorexia Very Light Infantry Regiment. Shabo's given me some belting...

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Sunday 09 November 088

Off to the big City tomorrow. Civilization and creature comforts. Book-signing do at Waterstone's for my latest literary survival work. Me and t...

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Friday 07 November 088

Not a good week so far. Some rotten twat's grassed me up to the Department of Works and Pensions for claiming Jobseekers Allowance while the BBC a...

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Thursday 06 November 088

Brilliant lark for Bonfire Night. That puffy git Bear Grylls and his Channel 4 film crew were camping near us and made a Guy Fawkes, then did a 'Penn...

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Wednesday 05 November 088

The RSPCA are after my arse for doing a badger spit roast on my programme last week. Pain in the proverbial really. Trying to get it through their...

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Tuesday 04 November 088

Got a nice dry billet in the Smegmadale Pike police station cells right now, awaiting the film crew to turn up and bail me out. Load of old bolloc...

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Obama Calls Secret Service On Sheet-Clad Trick-or-Treaters

Obama, not aware of its being Halloween, called the Secret Service on some sheet-clad ghost trick-or-treaters. "I was afraid they were going to burn a cross on the lawn," spoke a terrorized Obama.
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