Ray Mears - My Spoof Diary

This is the spoof journal of Ray Mears. It is purely a parody of what we imagine a diary made by Ray Mears would be like and hope you find the fake diary as funny.

Currently showing entries from: 2013 | 2012 | 2010 | 2009 | 2008

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December 2009


Wednesday 09 December 099

December 9th - The cat tasted like chicken, but made my stomach feel like shit - hot, runny shit to be precise. When my bowels did eventually move, it...

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November 2009


Tuesday 24 November 099

Dear Diary it's been two weeks since I last ate. Crew have gone home, I'm on my own. I ate a cat today. It just wandered in to the back ga...

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Saturday 14 November 099

Why, oh why, do I keep eating this crap?! Flambéed widgety grub a la kangaroo's vagina. I've been shi**ing through the eye of a needle for three...

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August 2009


Thursday 06 August 099

Ok I'm not that good at survival stuff I admit it. I fell out of my hammock four times last night and I can't even swim but it's just TV. I mean no on...

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Tuesday 04 August 099

Who does that son-of-a-bitch Bare Grylls think he is? Trying to knick my niche. He'll come a cropper one of these days with his silly bloody antics. T...

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Tuesday 04 August 099

Sorry it's been a while since I last wrote folks but my eye sight has only just returned since I ate some dodgy wild mushorroms. The doctor says I...

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July 2009


Tuesday 28 July 099

I never heard of Haylie Duff! Couldn't believe she's Hilary Duff's big sister!...

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Sunday 26 July 099

I've been trying to call Hilary Duff for like, two days and a half. I need her to do a movie about my precious life. I want her to portray all my love...

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Breaking News...

Justin Bieber and North Korean Leader On Same Fantasy Basketball Site

Pop star Justin Bieber and North Korean despot Kim Jong Un are both on the same fantasy basketball website, battling it out in cyberspace over the comic collection Kim says Justin ripped him off on.

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