Ray Mears - My Spoof Diary

This is the spoof journal of Ray Mears. It is purely a parody of what we imagine a diary made by Ray Mears would be like and hope you find the fake diary as funny.

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February 2013


Saturday 23 February 1313

At a loose end so I spent the day exploring Wolverhampton's sewage system. Crawling through a few rat-infested tunnels covered in a bit of shit never...

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Sunday 17 February 1313

Feeling restless again. After St. Kilda. Wolverhampton's fine, but it lacks a certain wilderness feel.I don't know why I took John Craven's advice to...

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Tuesday 12 February 1313

St. Kilda was considerably further away than I thought. Battled manfully through 10 metre waves for two hours before losing my paddle in middle of...

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Friday 08 February 1313

Planning a wild camping trip this weekend out on St.Kilda. It's a hell of a trip from Wolverhampton but I'm well-prepared. I've whittled a small c...

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Thursday 07 February 1313

Sent Jamie Oliver my recipe for tree bark pasta with maggot sauce. No reply from him as yet. Busy weaving a new set of soup bowls from the bracken...

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Wednesday 06 February 1313

Whittled a canoe paddle from the book-case as I watched telly. Had a glass of the rhubarb and sphagnum moss wine I made last year - bloody disgusting.

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Breaking News...

Wi-Fi signal named "Al-Qaeda Free Terror Network" Results In Long Delay For Passengers At Los Angeles Airport

'Our networks are usually named as variations on: 'Moms apple pie - God Bless America,' confirmed an Al-Qaeda spokesman. 'Otherwise it would be a bit f***ing obvious.'
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