Toyota called me today. They want me to represent them in their defense of all the lawsuits they are receiving. I tried to explain that I only defend the victims who bought their cars, but they assured me that they were the victims of people not knowing how to drive with their cellphones off.
I did some research about the subject, and it looks like they have a case. Personal injury lawyers have covered this up for years, and I guess I am to blame for that too.
I scheduled a press conference for tomorrow, so I can tell that American people how sorry I am for not allowing them to do their own research and protecting them from their own responsibilities.