One spent a night in hospital after a dicky stomach bug - I strongly suspect that Charles has been bribing the kitchen staff to give me horse-meat.
Or even worse - corgi-meat. I should never have let him go to South Korea on a Royal visit all those years ago - when he came back he was talking to the plants.
The boys not fit to reign over the United Kingdom - like Alex Ferguson at Manchester United they will have to carry me out of this job in a coffin!
Follow us on Twitter