Queen Elizabeth II - My Fake Diary

To be quite frank, I find it rather amusing I am the QUEEN after doing shit for anybody. Hell, if anything, I've only done anything to disrupt Prince Harry's relationship with his wife, I think her name was Dora Explorer. Either that or I've been treating myself to watching too many kid's cartoons.
I've been having too many nude catfights with Harry's...oops, I did it again, William's wife...It was her fault, she beat me in Scrabble and so she should pay the bloody consequences. From being a porn addict in the 1980's, I remembered some of my catfight skills. Of course, the b*tch deserved an arrow to the knee. I look outside and Prince Albert is having sex with George Bush.
I walk outside and join in the threesome. Fuck, I love sex. Albert hasn't been able to give me any since the day I made a prank call to the Premature Ejaculation hotline u...